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Memoirs of a Lunatic

The title almost says it all. I'm a little insane, like all folks, and I'm just putting down what I think about. Maybe some of it is funny, maybe some of it isn't. Just come read and find out for yourself.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

I knew that it would get better

Okay. After venting my frustrations yesterday morning to you good folks, I went to work and had a pretty good day. I was able to solve some of the problems that had been plaguing me and my co-worker, Chad, looked over my code and found the solution to an issue that I was having - moving me light years forward.

We demoed it again and had a much better reaction to it. People were very excited to see the project thisclose to completion. They say that their excitement stems from the fact that we are the only company in the industry to be doing or have anything like this. There was even half-hearted talks about a patent. That made me feel kind of good.

So, in the interest of some good-natured work humor, here are some more work related pics:

I could have used this one a few times.

This was recently posted at my work

Just kidding! But, it should be.


At 10/01/2004 10:18 PM, Blogger ghraper said...

Very funny! Especially the Extensis part.


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Wednesday, September 29, 2004


First the positives because I am generally an optimistic kind of guy. I love my job. I am having a horrible time at work right now, though. I've been putting in 12 hours days and long weekend hours to work on a project that has just been crazy. I've written about it before, but I just need to rant now.

I knew that I didn't get a complete set of project requirements from the beginning. I learned that the other day when things started to get corrected from my demo. But, what I didn't know until recently was what they wanted to do with the project, or what the timelines were.

I was originally told that this project would need to be completed, tested, and implemented by mid-November. Then, 3 weeks ago, I was told mid-October. Then, last week, I was told October 1st. I've heard of project overruns, but this doesn't happen too often.

I've also found out that they want this tool to be used by our Chase employees overseas. That adds a whole NEW dimension to the project. A serious dimension of visibility. This project already was very visible to higher-ups in my division, but this kind of work could get noticed by people outside of the division.

So adds the pressure.

I gave my app to the testers Monday and they made corrections to it at 4pm. I had to work until 9:15 pm to get the corrections implemented for the next business day. Then, yesterday, they gave me more corrections at almost 5pm and I had to work until 9pm to fix those. I've been getting in early and staying VERY late to get this done and the only way that I am even remaining sane is that I know that come Friday, this slows down considerably.

That is my light at the end of the tunnel.


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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

100th Post (but not really)

Well, my 100th post snuck past without much fanfare. Stupid Blogger and its not keeping current track of my posts. It was like at 93 for the longest time then... BOOM! It says that I'm at 100. I counted out my subsequent posts and this is actually my 105th post. Good for me. My profile says that I currently average five posts a week. That may be true for the life of the blog, but in reality I've averaged about 8 posts a week over that last two months.

My problem was that I didn't post very often in the beginning of my blog, even though I started out with the purpose of providing daily entertainment. I would go 7 days without a post. SEVEN DAYS. That is unheard of now.

Unless there is a dire emergency, I wake up an hour before I need to be up. I surf blogland and the web for entertainment and ideas, then I try to post before I have to get ready for work. Its a good formula and one that I can live with.

But, my PSA to you is this... Read and Post Daily! Why have a blog if you aren't gonna write in the mammer jammer?



At 9/28/2004 3:17 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Congrats on over 100 posts! That's great. I am hoping to surpass you before the year is up so watch out.

At 10/01/2004 10:25 PM, Blogger ghraper said...

Way to go Blogmeister! Just who did you have in mind when you said read and post daily?


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Inside the Blogger's Studio (results)

Here are the people that responded to my "Inside the Blogger's Studio" Post Yesterday. (in alphabetical order)


Though he didn't do it, I still suspect he will, so go over to Mark and let him know you are curious about his answers.


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Monday, September 27, 2004

Inside the Blogger's Studio

I get a weekly e-mail newsletter from the Wizard of Ads. In this week's edition, he asked the reader to answer James Lipton's 10 questions that he (James) asks every guest on "Inside the Actor's Studio". So below are my answers, followed by the Wizard of Ads' answers, which we got to see once we filled ours out on his site. Feel free to comment me your answers, or to just put your results on your blog and comment to let me know they are there. Enjoy.

My Responses

What is your favorite word? syzygy
What is your least favorite word? cunt
What turns you on? smells
What turns you off? smells
What is your favorite curse word? f*ck
What sound or noise do you love? my children's laughter
What sound or noise do you hate? nails on a chalkboard
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Professional Baseball Player
What profession would you not like to do? garbage man (no offense, it is a smell thing)
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

The Wizard of Ads' Responses

What is your favorite word? simpatico
What is your least favorite word? motivational
What turns you on? discovery
What turns you off? bureaucracy
What is your favorite curse word? redneck b@stard
What sound or noise do you love? rain
What sound or noise do you hate? newscasters
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? novelist
What profession would you not like to do? electrician
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord."

Go, and do thou likewise.


At 9/27/2004 11:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, check out my blog for my answers! You'll enjoy!

At 9/27/2004 11:39 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

That last comment was from me, of course.

At 10/01/2004 10:40 PM, Blogger ghraper said...

How do you pronounce syzygy?

At 10/04/2006 8:13 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Apparently, people search my blog to find this answer G, so 2 years later - I will answer.

Siz-Uh-Gee, though I usually say it


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My Fantasy Football team lost yesterday. I was the second highest scorer for the week. Unfortunately, I played the highest scorer of the week. I took two players out who weren't performing (one isn't even starting and the other is a QB with an injured elbow) and it bit me in the bum. I lost by 2 STINKING POINTS! If I had started the QB that I yanked, I would have had 5 more points, and if I had started the TE that I had started the last two games, I would have had 6 more points.

I'm now 0-3, many of my best players have a bye week in week 4 so I will probably lose again. This sucks. Note the time of this post. I woke up super early because I imagined that I would have won my first game and I was very excited. I actually dreamt about seeing the results in at least 3 different dreams last night.

Oh, well. To quote Trinity13, "Life is Grand".


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Sunday, September 26, 2004

Food, Fiction, Fun, and a Flick

What do
, ,
, and

have in common?

They are what we did with our oldest on her "special day" with Mommy and Daddy. We already had a special day with the "Second Big Sister" and now it was the "Big Sister"'s turn.

We started off by going to Cracker Barrel (her choice) and then we stopped at Barnes and Noble to look around their kid's section. We looked around there for a while and picked up two books. A Care Bear book for the "Second Big Sister" and an advanced reader book about Helen Keller for the "Big Sister".

From there, we went to a park and played on the swings for a bit. When we had all grown weary of that, we drove to see what movie might be playing (since she didn't want to go play putt-putt like her sister). We settled on "A Cinderella Story" at the cheap seats. It was pretty good, my daughter seemed to like it.

All in all, a good day. Our daughter doesn't get much alone time with her parents, since we have the other two and the oldest can be so self-sufficient. But, I remember how much I didn't like getting tons of responsibility at such an early age, so I want to try not to do that to her too much. As the oldest, she will get plenty of opportunities to be a valuable, responsible resource, but I want to try to give her a fun childhood, too.


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Saturday, September 25, 2004

Bye Week

Well, Lunatic Fans, there will be no Buckeye pre-game this week. Nor, will there be a super-scientific breakdown of the game tomorrow. The Buckeyes are off this week and I admit that I will be a little lost today without having the game to schedule around.

I do have some stuff that I brought home from work that needs done. I need to mow the grass, work on two websites, and maybe have a special outing with my oldest. So, maybe the bye week isn't such a bad thing. I sound like a pretty busy cat.

Oh, well. I do have Pro Football to look forward to tomorrow. I need to follow it to see how my Fantasy Team will fare. Bad news so far. I am 0-2 and have scored the least amount of points in the league. Last week was the problem with the scoring, as my premiere scorers either had a bad week or got injured early in the game. This week I face the highest scoring team in the league. The good news is that their 2 highest scorers are having a bye week, so I stand a chance.

Wish a brother luck.


At 9/25/2004 11:27 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Good luck!


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Friday, September 24, 2004

About Fridays and Mondays

Well, it is Friday. When Loverboy said that "Everybody's Workin for the Weekend", truer words were never spoken. You work 5 days just to have 2 to relax. Who else moves that we go to a European work week? I would rather work 4 ten hour days than 5 eights. I mean, I work ten hour days anyway and since I'm salaried, there is no economic benefit to it.

But, technically, my boss would let me work 4 tens. At least he said that he would. And if I do work over a bunch, he lets me do comp time and the like. My co-workers and I have actually discussed working 4 days, with some of us working the Monday and some of us working the Friday. I personally would work the Friday and be off the Monday. Here's why.

Friday isn't much of a workday, anyway. Lots of people aren't in the office because they are taking long weekends. The atmosphere is great and there are a lot of potlucks to raid throughout the building.

Mondays however, suck for me. Monday is one of the three days that I have to get both of my daughters up and take them to school (I get big sister up and take her everyday, but second big sister is in pre-school and only goes 3 days). Also, I have bad days Sunday because I am looking ahead to going back to work and that bums me out. I would take Monday off so that I could enjoy my Sunday better. Sound crazy? Good.

Okay, that's it for now. Everyone enjoy their Friday. Time for me to get some kids moving!


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Thursday, September 23, 2004

Some Office Humor

Man, I am having such a crazy, stress-filled time at the office right now. I'm working on a project (the one that nailed my team a $1500.00 cash reward) that is highly anticipated, but barely supported. All of these "experts" who mapped out the work that I need to do have done it so poorly that I've had to spend the last three days just deciphering a stupid document that is crucial to the work that I am doing. Bad news? They didn't give it to me in the first place. Other bad news? I asked for help on Monday and someone finally got to me on Tuesday, never showed up for our meeting, then my boss hunted him down on Wednesday - after I had figured out the thing.

So for that crap, I present to you some office humor.


At 9/23/2004 9:23 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

I knew all along that you would figure it out. You are the man, after all.

At 9/23/2004 11:22 AM, Blogger Drifter said...

But I'm not the man. He goes free as I wait on the row for the man to test the rope he'll slip around my throat... and silence me.

- "I'm Not the Man", 10,000 Maniacs

At 9/23/2004 12:21 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Drifter didn't make that last comment, I did. I post for him and forgot to sign him out. That's the second time that I've done that. I'm a loser.


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Wednesday, September 22, 2004

An Open Letter to John Kerry

This is a must read. It is an open letter from Oliver North to John Kerry. It is scathing. It is a little long, but muddling through would be to your benefit. It is John Kerry who wants to run for President on his 4 1/2 months in Vietnam instead of his 20 years in the Senate, so I think that these comments are very appropriate. Go, read it.

Note: I know that there have been some things that have looked to come from Oliver North before and were not true, so here is a link to a Snopes article showing that Oliver North did indeed write this.


At 9/22/2004 11:51 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

What a great letter. Every interesting. Thanks for sharing.

At 9/23/2004 1:33 PM, Blogger Chad said...

Keep in mind Oliver North became a household name beacuse of the Kerry Committee. Ollie has a partisan axe to grind and is using the his influence in right-wing media to do it.

Here is Kerry's full quote:

"They told the stories at times they had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war, and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this country."

Not his words, but merely him quoting others.

Read for yourself:

At 9/27/2004 8:18 PM, Blogger Guru said...

This was on page ten of what you sent me to read.

8 Kerry’s authorship of his statement is disputed: it is claimed that anti-war activist Adam Walinsky, a
former legislative aide to Sen. Robert Kennedy, either wrote the statement or helped Kerry to write it.
Moreover, the “Winter Soldier Investigation” has been discredited.

The "Winter Soldier Investigation" was what he was quoting people from in regards to the assorted atrocities. I'm not saying that people didn't do bad stuff over there, but I don't know if it was as bad as he was saying. And, I think that may have been partly Ollie North's point. Kerry, by his own admittance, hastily put together a speech, and included - before congress - a section from an investigation that has been discredited. And it was this passage of the testimony used by the captors of POWs to justify their actions.


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Tuesday, September 21, 2004

I'm An Idiot

I removed the post that used to be here.


At 9/21/2004 10:31 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Thank you for being original.


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Paybacks for the Candy Raids

My campadres at work and I always go on candy raids. There are a few people out there who keep their desks stocked with the goodness (thank you Barbara Washington!) and a few people who have some decent stuff (thank you nameless lady up the way!). Usually though, we have to go on some decent hunts to get some candy. We've always said that we were going to buy some candy and repay our debts, but to no avail.

This past week, someone brought in a bag of assorted goodies and namelessly put them out in the communications area. Since we had moved so far away from Barbara Washington, this was like finding gold. But, alas, supplies dwindled of this natural resource as well and we were left promising ourselves that we would be the source of candy one day.

Well, that one day was yesterday.

We went on a run to the grocery store and picked up like $26.00 in GOOD candy. The store was having a special for Halloween, so we got some good stuff. I spent $6.00 and got a bag of miniature Snickers, a bag of miniature 3 Musketeers, and a bag of miniature Reese Sticks.
The best part was when we put all of the candy in a big bag and went around the building like Santa Claus filling all of the good people's candy jars to the brim. We filled Barbara Washington's tall jar of candy up. There was much squealing with delight all over Chase as we brought the candy to the masses. It was a good feeling.

Don't get me wrong, though. There is still a SICK amount of candy in our own personal stash. We should be good for quite awhile.

I love candy. That's why I'm fat.


At 9/21/2004 10:30 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

I thought I heard some squealing yesterday! Good for you guys! I'm proud of you.


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Monday, September 20, 2004

What Matrix Persona Are You?

You are Neo
You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


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Fantasy Football

I am participating in a Fantasy Football league this year at Chase. We all paid $10.00 to get in, and if we make the playoffs, we at least get our money back. First Place gets $80.00, Second Place gets $20.00, and Third and Fourth place get $10.00 each.

On draft day, I was amped. I got 2 of the top 3 or 4 rated fantasy players in the league. Unfortunately, they are both having some injury problems. That's just great. I was so high that my teams were going to be scoring machines, but instead they are scoring invalids.

This is only week 2, but I think that the league goes until Week 14, or so, so that the final weeks of the season can be our playoffs. I need to step it up. I was sure that I was going to at least get my tenspot back. Now, I just worry if I will even finish above .500.

C'est la vie.


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Sunday, September 19, 2004

The Linux Humor

Here is an excellent background for all you anti-Microsoft types.


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OSU finally won the battle of the turnover margin (5-1) and used that and 121 gift yards off of penalties to overcome a lackluster offensive day and win a big one on the road. Kirk Herbstreit should be ashamed of himself for picking against us and for an unranked team. Lee Corso, I can understand. He just doesn't get it. But, you Kirk? And then to have the nerve to wear a scarlet and gray tie on Gameday, please. It will be fun to listen to your radio show on Monday and listen to "Buckeye Fan" give it to you.

Lydell Ross scoring our lone TD

Okay. Our quarterback threw for 73 yards. One running back got us another 51. The other one, 9. Not a lot of offense there. So, Guru (sarcasm evident), how did we win? How did we score 22 points?

Defense and special teams and their offspring, turnovers and field position. The keys to winning any tough game on the road. Our average starting point was the 45, theirs was the 17. You don't have to move the ball far when you start out at about midfield every time. Coach Tressel summed it up best...

"If you've got to play a good team on the road; superior special units, I think ours were better; relentless defense, ours was; mistake-free and opportunistic offense, if we didn't fumble that last one and we make a touchdown or a field goal, we'd say this was decisive," Tressel said.

And, may I also add that if the referees weren't blind, NC State never would have scored that final touchdown because replays showed AJ Hawk intercepted a pass that was ruled incomplete.

Funny, though, I haven't found any post-game comments from their senior safety, Maddox, who was running up a pile of pre-game bulletin board material. He said that we would be a different team when they "smacked us in the mouth", that we were "lucky", and things of that ilk. Who got smacked in the mouth? We went in to your house and owned you all day. Think before you speak. Grown folks talkin'.

Final score was 22-14, but should have been no more than 22-7 (they scored after AJ Hawk intercepted the ball that wasn't ruled an interception). We won decisively on the road and now have an off week to get ready to play the Big Ten season.



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Saturday, September 18, 2004

Ah, NC State

Today the Mighty Buckeyes of Ohio State play the NC State Wolfpack, a team that we needed 3 overtimes to beat last year. Even then, we had to stop TA McLendon just one yard short of the endzone to stop a fourth overtime from happening.

Because the Wolfpack doesn't play too many big names on their schedule, we are the date on their schedule. We have been described as their "Bowl Game". They have been training and game planning for us all off-season, just like Marshall and just like the 'Nati. In fact, here is a quote from their team:

"I'll tell you the truth, it drove me during the offseason," wide receiver Tramain Hall said. "When I worked out, that's what I thought about, those overtimes and how much we pushed and the fact that we lost by one yard.

So, don't let anyone tell you that they don't want it from us. They are calling us "lucky" and basically insinuating that we don't deserve to win the games that we've won. Their coach, however, is careful to give our defense the credit. He also said...

"That's the way Woody Hayes built that program," N.C. State coach Chuck Amato said. "Coach Hayes is sitting up there and is just beaming from ear to ear that coach Tressel is winning the way he's winning in the new millennium."

Kirk Herbstreit is picking us to LOSE 27-23. I don't think that will happen. Of course, I predict us to win, especially since their stud back left the practice field with an injury yesterday.

Final score? I predict we will win 27-20.



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Friday, September 17, 2004

Getting Her Due

I promised Trinity that when her blog got decent enough, and she proved that she would post often enough, that I would send my legion of blog readers to her site.

So, here it goes. Go visit her site. She is located here. Make sure to leave lots of comments to let her know that you were there.

She actually has some good posts and updates daily or sometimes twice a day, so it is worth your time. Her motto is "Sarcasm Happens", an idea with which I totally agree. And after you visit her, come back and comment here (if you are so inclined), thanking me for turning you on to such prose. I accept all sorts of gratuities, including money in the form of cash, check, credit card, or paypal. I take buttons, computers, toothpaste, spark plugs, rakes, staplers, anything. Just beseige me with gifts for the service of sharing Trinity with you.

Begone with you, and return with my plunder.


At 9/17/2004 9:14 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Ha-ha, very funny. But, I think you could have mentioned me more. Come on, you really need to have more links to my blog because 12 just isn't enough. You should have at least put one more to make it thirteen, as in Trinity13. Honestly, I expected more from you. You didn't even mention my blog motto, sarcasm happens.

Although, I do owe you some belly button lint for putting my name out there to your massive readership. I'll overnight it to you.

At 9/17/2004 10:31 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Okay, okay, Trin. Added a 13th link and mentioned your motto. Now can I get something more than lint? Perhaps some Little Caesars and some crazy bread? Say, around dinner time tomorrow?

At 9/17/2004 11:38 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Oh, much better! You have done well my friend. Does this mean that you don't want the belly button lint after all. Either way, please come and enjoy the foods that I have prepared, I mean picked up.


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Thursday, September 16, 2004

I (Heart) Oxymorons

I realized today while talking to some co-workers that I like to think about oxymorons. As such, here are the Top 20 Oxymorons according to a website.

20. Government Organization
19. Alone Together
18. Personal Computer
17. Silent Scream
16. Living Dead
15. Same Difference
14. Taped Live
13. Plastic Glasses
12. Tight Slacks
11. Peace Force
10. Pretty Ugly
9. Head Butt
8. Working Vacation
7. Tax Return
6. Virtual Reality
5. Dodge Ram
4. Work Party
3. Jumbo Shrimp
2. Healthy Tan
1. Microsoft Works

If you need any explained, let me know.


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Which John Cusack Are You?

Which John Cusack Are You?

Okay, so I didn't answer 100% truthfully. The quiz is easy to figure out and I just wanted to be labeled as my favorite John Cusack character. Being a sensitive hitman rules!

Speaking of hitmen, the MIS manager that has been a serious rival to me at work got whacked! If you don't know the backstory, you can read it here, and here. Everyone up to speed now? Good.

I don't know what I will do at work without a foil. Like Unbreakable, every hero needs a villain. I need someone to push me to stay on point and I need someone who gets beaten at every turn and then comes back for more.

If a suitable villain doesn't appear soon, I am going to have to have to just pick someone to beat on a day to day basis.

Its hard being a superhero hitman.


At 9/16/2004 12:09 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Hey, I took your quiz. I also didn't cheat like you did so I came out as Lloyd Dobler. I am romantic, adorable, and determined. Yep, that sounds about right!


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Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Ya Win Some, Ya Win Some

Hail to the Victor! To the victor goes the spoils! Viktor Krum! (sorry, threw that in for the Harry Potter fans)

As my buddy G wrote in this post (bottom paragraph about the Pataskala job), we had a little trouble with a job. It was getting late and we needed to go, with the promise of returning to fix the problem later, at no extra charge.

Well, last night was that night.

I went over to their house with the goal of backing up their files and re-installing Windows to give them a clean start. They had a ton of problems and some mutating spyware that was going undetected with the usual tools. Actually, the symptoms were getting detected each time, but the source was not. There were also virii on there that wouldn't let us install an anti-virus program. (He had not been running one up to this point.)

When I got there, I asked for the restore disks that they said they had and they were not to be found. The wife thinks she may have thrown them away or used them in a craft on accident. So, I had to tackle removing the problem manually with what I had.

Their browser kept getting hijacked to a res://oszuc.dll/indexblahblah page and I wasn't able to Google anything on oszuc.dll. I finally stumbled upon the answer by accident while looking to remove the lone set of popups I was receiving. The .dll file used actually didn't matter. It could have been one of a trillion things. But I was able to print out 7 page removal instructions and got it done.

Installing an anti-virus client was a different matter, though. One (or many) of the trojans on his computer wasn't letting us install AVG anti-virus. I was able to get another free anti-virus off of the web, install it, and remove 8 unique different nasties (over 60 files infected overall).

It was another long night, but I was able to get his computer working beautifully again, without a system restore, and save our reputation for another day.

I do have another job tonight, so hopefully I can keep the winning streak alive.


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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Real Ninja Power

When I was between the ages of 9 and 13, I was obsessed with ninjas. I had tons of ninja books, I was a ninja for Halloween for years straight, I had ninja posters, got ninja magazines...... you get the point.

Why I am bringing it up is that I saw this yesterday.

Click image to see it full-sized

That is hilarious because that is almost exactly how we used to make our ninja masks. Except often, because we were forest ninjas, we had on camouflaged pants, shirts, and shirts made in to masks. We used to creep around the forest for hours. We would hide in trees, practice martial arts, go on raids, and plan ways to defend our fortress from the developers who were slowly eating away at our woods.

I always led the martial arts training. I DID have the books and DID take a year of karate, so I was obviously the most qualified. We even used to have karate tournaments to see who was the leader which I always won. (I'm not bragging, I am telling a story with facts!)

Even though our home was in the forest, we also all had black ninja gear as well. We would sneak out of the house and go on night raids. We would just sneak through the neighborhood and collect information about people by sitting and listening. We were truly a little ninja spy network!

For ninja weapons, we had two real throwing stars, a couple of boot knives, and a set of nunchaku made from a sawed-off shovel handle connected with some chain. Now that I think back, having a group of 11 and 12 year olds running around the neighborhood and woods with real weapons wasn't a great idea. But, it was a different time.

If you have had ninja experiences, comment and tell me. If you think I'm a dork, you can tell me that, too. Later.


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Monday, September 13, 2004

First Day of Pre-School (Check!)

Well, my daughter made it through her first day of pre-school. She was very excited about going and wouldn't be quiet about it until we got there. That's good. She'll hate school soon enough.

One good thing was that the teacher said that a lot of their time would be spent on learning social skills. That's great, because that's what my girlie lacks the most. Enjoy the pictures. Click on each one to see the bigger version in a new window.


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Just as I suspected....

Take the quiz and share your results, too.
Far-Right Conservative
Click the image to see it larger.

Where do you fall on the liberal - conservative political spectrum? (United States)


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Go Ahead, Laugh

If you do, you are a mean mofo.


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Sunday, September 12, 2004

First Day of Pre-School

Tomorrow is my middle child's first day of pre-school. Actually, we don't say middle child, we say second big sister. My wife is ever mindful of trying not to create middle child syndrome.

Anyway, the second big sister starts her first day of school ever tomorrow. She is very excited. I will post pictures tomorrow of her first day, so you can see how cute she is.

I am really hoping that she will grow up a bunch this past year. Her big sister did and I really expect her to as well. As "the baby" for many years, she likes to whine to get her way. Being in school helped the oldest whine less, so I hope it will help the second big sister whine less.

I just hope the school is ready for my daughters craziness. She is a wacky little girl.


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Scientific Proof...

It's not just a hobby anymore. It is for good health!


At 9/12/2004 8:09 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Hey, let me know if you need a good workout equivalent. I'll get your heart rate up, no prob. Just let me know, anytime. Now you have to figure out if I am being sarcastic, or not. Hmmm, tough question. I don't even think I know the answer to that!


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Happy Anniversary!

Today is my 6th Wedding Anniversary. All you readers and lovers of my blog should comment and wish me a happy one, or something.

We are having lunch at Spageddies today, and will probably have a dinner out together a little later in the week. (after payday!)


At 9/12/2004 6:18 PM, Blogger ghraper said...

Happy Anniversary and stuff! I hope your day is an enjoyable one.

At 9/12/2004 7:34 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

I hope you have a wonderful day and I wish you a happy one, or something. I can watch the kids while you get your romantic ann. dinner night on. Have a good time tonight!


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54 Yards!

Okay, so I was wrong about the 31-10 thing. OSU squeaked by Marshall yesterday on a last second, 54 yard field goal by our clutch kicker, Mike Nugent. We won 24-21.

Our defense was/is supposed to be our strong suit this year. But, you might be thinking, "How did you give up 21 points to Marshall, then?". It's a good question, but one that has a good answer. 7 of those points were because of a Lydell Ross fumble returned for a touchdown. 7 more of the points were a result of them having a very short field to work with. (3 plays, 26 yards) So, the Bucks only gave up one sustained scoring drive and that was in the first quarter.

Our real problem was the offense. I thought that we were going along great for a while. But, then the turnovers started happening. We turned the ball over FOUR times. That makes SEVEN times in TWO games. AND we haven't taken ONE from a team yet. That's right. Our turnover ratio is MINUS SEVEN after TWO GAMES! That's the stat that needs to change.

Other than that, Justin Zwick looked decent, hitting Santonio Holmes 10 times for 218 yards and 2 touchdowns. Zwick ended the day 18 for 30, 318 yards, with 3 TDs, and 2 INTs. Decent, but he almost cost us the game, as well. Lydell Ross had 24 attempts for 90 yards, no TDs, and the fumble that let them score 7.

If we even HOPE to beat NC State next week, we need to not turn the ball over. We need to force turnovers. And we need to run like in the Cincy game and pass like in the Marshall game.

And pigs could fly if they had wings. It is going to be another long season for us.


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Saturday, September 11, 2004

OSU Pregame - Buckeyes vs. Thundering Herd

OSU plays Marshall today in another game that has a great backstory. An Ohio State player, Reggie Arden, was assaulted before the season began by a bunch of Marshall players. Don't think that that won't be thought about during the game. The Bucks will make sure that we dole out punishment on the field for their insolence.

Anywho, we are favored by 16 or 16.5 points (depending where you look) and I think that we will cover that score. I didn't think that we would cover last week against Cincy, but we did, and I think that we will beat Marshall senseless. I am looking forward to seeing us "tune up" a little more during this game.

Interesting statistic... Ohio State is 18-1 against Mid-Atlantic Conference Schools all time. Do you know who the loss was to? Akron in 1894. I am looking for us to extend the winning streak today.

My prediction? 31-10, OSU. What is this based on? Absolutely nothing.

Look for my ultra super scientific breakdown after the game.


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Friday, September 10, 2004

One for the Geeks

Okay. I don't run Linux, but in no way am I anti. In fact, especially in the ongoing SCO v. Linux dispute, I am the exact opposite. So, now that you know that fact, you will understand my joy at this bit of news...

SCO is losing money. In fact, they LOST 7.3 million dollars for the third quarter. Last year they MADE $3.1 million dollars in the same time frame. Their licensing revenue was at $678,000 for the quarter, down from almost 7.3 MILLION a year earlier.

Two things to say. Yeah. Baby.

They are fighting a losing battle in my opinion. Public opinion is against them, and they are constantly unable to produce in open court the code that Linux supposedly stole. Two more things. Bump. Them.

You can't always get what you want. But you will always get what you deserve. Eventually.


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Something to Make the Ladies Mad

First, I'll start with this one. This is only true if the guy is an idiot. I, on the other hand, am quite the debater and win my share of arguments.

Click on each image to see it larger

An old one. Showing how easy it is to get guys "turned on", but how difficult it can be for a woman. (This is only true if you have the wrong woman!)

Why guys hate to shop with gals. When we go shopping, it is like tracking our prey. We hunt it down and conquer it. Women, go shopping like they are avoiding the goal. They hit every one but the store that they meant to go to.

This is just funny. I don't care who you are.


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Thursday, September 09, 2004

Pickles: Friend or Foe?

If you are ever hurting for an idea to blog about, I suggest going to Blog Ideas. I was clicking through to get a random idea to write about and I came across this little gem, "Pickles: Friend or Foe?".

Let's just get this out of the way right now. I vote Foe. The reason that this is so appropriate is that just this past weekend, I had the opportunity to eat at Smokey Bones. I love to get the pulled pork sandwich with some of their delicious fries. But, I absolutely despise the pickles that they put on the plate as a garnish. I usually warn the waitress that if I see a pickle on my plate, I will promptly insert it in to her anus.

I hate the way that they smell. I hate the way that they taste. I hate the pickle juice that is all over the plate and soaks in to my bread and fries. That's why people just don't get it. They say, "Just take the pickle off of your plate." That doesn't do it. It doesn't remove the juice. I doesn't remove the smell. It doesn't unsoak the flavor from my food.

Pickles are an abomination.


At 9/09/2004 12:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, if you have to remove the pickle yourself, you end up getting nasty pickle juice on your fingers. Your fingers then stink and you have to wash them before you can eat and it takes a few washings to be totally rid of the smell. Momma says pickles are of the devil, Bobby! Just a little Waterboy for ya!


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Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Best. GAPit Job. Ever.

Last night was our third GAP job in four days. We have a potential three more jobs pending in the immediate future and it has been very nice to see some fruit in our business. OH, we haven't gotten to the part where we actually PAY OURSELVES yet, but that will happen soon enough.

Well, last nights job, apart from being the highest paying yet, was fun to do as well. The client had two computers. He wanted to put an extra hard drive in each and a DVD burner in one of them. G and I each slapped a hard drive in a machine and he installed the DVD Burner. An added bonus was that right when we got there, they asked if we could help them make an address database and a letter template. I created the database in Access, taught them to use it, walked her through creating the template, and taught her how to use that as well.

That just kind of got sprung on us. We hadn't discussed it on the phone, but it was in the realm of knowledge, so we knocked it out.

I wish most jobs could be like that one. I know that they all won't, but a guy can dream, can't he?


At 9/10/2004 12:35 AM, Blogger ghraper said...

See G's Blog entry about the past few jobs.

At 9/10/2004 7:06 AM, Blogger Guru said...

I check your blog every day. I read it before I even got to these comments. I don't think you understand what a blog-whore loser that I really am.


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Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Learn About Guru.

What time do you get up? 5:40 AM

If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? Jesus

What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Bourne Supremacy (it rocked!)

What is/are your favorite TV show(s)? Family Guy, Best Damn Sports Show Period, Chappelle's Show

What did you have for breakfast? Not a thing.

Who would you like to be stuck in a room with? Angelina Jolie

What is your middle name? Vassia

Favorite color? Black and Blue (I don’t have just one)

What kind of car do you drive? 99 Ford Contour

Favorite Food? Pizza, followed by meatloaf and cheeseburgers

What characteristic do you despise? Fakeness

Favorite flower? Gold Medal

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Some fantasy sports camp. Location doesn’t matter.

Favorite brand of clothing/store? I love generic clothes.

Where would you retire to? The grave.

Favorite day of the week? Friday.

What did you do for your last birthday? Ate dinner out and saw Spiderman 2.

Where were you born? Jeanette, Pennsylvania

Favorite sport to watch? Football

Coke or Pepsi? Diet Coke.

How many pets do you have? 0. 3 kids are enough.


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Freedom of Speech for All

I am sick of seeing that commercial where the lawyer, or whatever she is, says that "If I lose all my clients, I lose all my clients." Do you know the one that I am talking about? She is a Republican voting for John Kerry and she thinks its wrong that people will be angry with her and take business away. She thinks its unfair, but she is SO principled that she will do what's "right".

Right. More BS from

Look. I'll explain it to you. The Supreme Court has ruled that what you do with your money cannot be coerced and that spending it, in fact, amounts to your freedom of speech. So, if I am in a union, they can't put my money toward abortion rights, for instance. I have the freedom to "opt out" of that. It is the same principle at work here.

If I don't agree with this woman's politics, perfume, or prettiness, I do NOT have to hire her or give her any money. It is not unfair. It is freedom of speech.

It's like the deal with the Dixie Chicks last year. They said that people were squashing their speech because they were destroying their albums and not playing their songs on the radio. EXCUSE ME! No one stopped you from opening your mouth, or from saying whatever you wanted to. Now let mainstream America respond back. I don't HAVE to buy your album. If I own it, I can destroy it. And radio stations play what is popular or else no one listens, advertisers go away, and they shut down. We are merely expressing our viewpoints.

I don't know at what point celebrities decided that they were the only ones whose speech counted. Truth is, your speech counts LESS, not more. Your well being, financially, is set by the American public. If you become gauche, then you stop making money, and no one cares about you, and you have no bully pulpit for America anymore.

Note to celebrities (the thousands who read this :-) ). Go stump for your causes. It's a free country. But, don't be mad if America ends up rejecting you. WE have the right to.


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Monday, September 06, 2004

Acceptance Speech

I've been meaning to give my breakdown of President Bush's acceptance speech at the RNC, but I just haven't had the time until now to break it down as scientifically as I wanted to, so here it goes...

Overall, I thought that it was an excellent speech, probably one of the best that he has ever delivered since being President. I reject some of the criticisms that he didn't talk about certain topics in the speech. How much ground was he supposed to cover? At least he was specific with some of his plans to make America better. The Kerry campaign up until now has been about vagueness. "I will make America better." (How?) "I will create jobs." (How?) Bush laid out some really good plans for the future. One thing that stinks is that I know that the economy is going to get better in the next four years, no matter who is President, just like I knew that these past four years would be bad, no matter who was President. For goodness' sake, Clinton got bolstered by the tech bubble and the recession actually started in 2000, while he was President. But, I digress.

Quotes, and my responses:

"To create jobs, we will make our country less dependent on foreign sources of energy. To create jobs, we will expand trade and level the playing field to sell American goods and services across the globe. And we must protect small business owners and workers from the explosion of frivolous lawsuits that threaten jobs across America."

We do need to compete on a global economy. It is not the governments job to tell industry what to do. If we want jobs to stay, or come, here, then we need to make America an attractive place to do business.

"Another drag on our economy is the current tax code, which is a complicated mess filled with special interest loopholes, saddling our people with more than six billion hours of paperwork and headache every year. The American people deserve and our economic future demands a simpler, fairer, pro-growth system. In a new term, I will lead a bipartisan effort to reform and simplify the federal tax code."

Two things to say about that. Flat tax. Now.

"As I've traveled the country, I've met many workers and small business owners who have told me they are worried they cannot afford health care. More than half of the uninsured are small business employees and their families. In a new term, we must allow small firms to join together to purchase insurance at the discounts available to big companies. We will offer a tax credit to encourage small businesses and their employees to set up health savings accounts, and provide direct help for low-income Americans to purchase them. These accounts give workers the security of insurance against major illness, the opportunity to save tax-free for routine health expenses, and the freedom of knowing you can take your account with you whenever you change jobs. And we will provide low-income Americans with better access to health care: In a new term, I will ensure every poor county in America has a community or rural health center.

As I have traveled our country, I have met too many good doctors, especially OB-GYNS, who are being forced out of practice because of the high cost of lawsuits. To make health care more affordable and accessible, we must pass medical liability reform now. And in all we do to improve health care in America, we will make sure that health decisions are made by doctors and patients, not by bureaucrats in Washington, DC."

Health care is crazy expensive. The solution to that is not to make the government pay for it (shift the health care burden to the tax burden, not smart), but to help doctor's offices help lower their costs. If they keep having to pay exorbanant malpractice premiums, then they have to pass those costs to us. Also, there is a lot of bureaucratic mess that they have to participate in, created by both parties, and I would like to see that go away as well.

"In an ownership society, more people will own their health plans, and have the confidence of owning a piece of their retirement. We will always keep the promise of Social Security for our older workers. With the huge Baby Boom generation approaching retirement, many of our children and grandchildren understandably worry whether Social Security will be there when they need it. We must strengthen Social Security by allowing younger workers to save some of their taxes in a personal account a nest egg you can call your own, and government can never take away."

Look. I am working my butt off to pay for the social security of the elder generation now. I have no promise of social security being there for me. Some of that money needs set in a place where it is only for me and I can invest it in a place of my choosing.

"In the last four years, you and I have come to know each other. Even when we don't agree, at least you know what I believe and where I stand. You may have noticed I have a few flaws, too. People sometimes have to correct my English I knew I had a problem when Arnold Schwarzenegger started doing it. Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called "walking." Now and then I come across as a little too blunt and for that we can all thank the white-haired lady sitting right up there."

This was great. It was nice to see him address some things that people have said about him. Republicans DO like to have fun, you know.

"One thing I have learned about the presidency is that whatever shortcomings you have, people are going to notice them and whatever strengths you have, you're going to need them. These four years have brought moments I could not foresee and will not forget. I have tried to comfort Americans who lost the most on September 11th people who showed me a picture or told me a story, so I would know how much was taken from them. I have learned first-hand that ordering Americans into battle is the hardest decision, even when it is right. I have returned the salute of wounded soldiers, some with a very tough road ahead, who say they were just doing their job. I've held the children of the fallen, who are told their dad or mom is a hero, but would rather just have their dad or mom."

Amen, and Amen.

I hate when any person says that a politician will take us to war for our men and women to die just for personal reasons. I don't think Bill Clinton, George H. W. Bush, Dubya, Reagan, or anyone ever went to war for personal gain. No American President has ever been that inhuman.

BTW... Four More Years! Four More Years!


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More Crazy Quiz Results

obsessive compulsive
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

take the "what's your dark secret?" quiz
| courtesy of where darkness and secrecy abound.


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Sunday, September 05, 2004


Well, we defeated the 'Nati pretty soundly after a slow start. Here are some pictures from the game:

Our defense was spectacular, as always, but our offense really sputtered to start. Lydell Ross, who I had hoped would really lead our rushing attack, had his otherwise miserable first half numbers buoyed by his 68 yard run in the second quarter. He finished with 141 yards and a touchdown, but the excellent surprise of the day was Michael Pittman's 66 yards on only 7 carries. I like what he will be able to do with the football if Ross sputters.

Our young quarterbacks were average at best. What the defense gives them this season, they look capable of throwing away (literally!). Justin Zwick had flashes where he looked really good, and then he turned around and looked horrible with fumbles everywhere and 2 INTs (could have been more). Troy Smith looked equally bad at first, but he rebounded to lead us to all of our fourth quarter scoring.

The much hyped Ted Ginn, Jr., a track star from the Cleveland area, looked impressive in limited action on Saturday. He will eventually be a cornerback, I think, but he was used mostly as a wide receiver in this game. He showed some of his incredible speed and great hands (that is him in the first picture up above). I look for him to play pretty well this year.

What with the defense keeping us in every game this year and the offense ready to lose those same games at any moment, this seems like it could be another year of "heartburn" football.

Could a Buckeye fan really have it any other way?


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Saturday, September 04, 2004

And you thought Google was new

Here is what Google looked like in 1960, pre-World Wide Web. (But not pre-internet, that has been around since the 40's. Do you know that the WWW is not the internet? I thought you did!)



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Friday, September 03, 2004


Kickoff is about 16 hours away right now and I couldn't be more excited. Here are some shots of the last time we took the field (soundly defeating K-State in the Fiesta Bowl!).

Images from The O-Zone

We are opening up against Cincinnati in "The Shoe" and I am so ready to watch some Buckeye football. There is even a great backstory as Cincinnati's new Head Coach is our old defensive coordinator. So, since it has been only eight months since he has been on our team, I suspect he will know what it is that we like to do and possible ways to extort it.

I am expecting a good game, but would love to see us put on a clinic. We have a healthy Lydell Ross for the first time in about a year, and our running game should be awesome.

I am also looking forward to some hotdogs and chili and hanging out with the guys as is our Buckeye Saturday tradition. (The hanging, not the choice of dish. We eat anything.)

I will give you an update with my breakdown after the game. Until then, GO BUCKS!!!!!!!!!


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Funny Picture


Click image to open full sized in a new window.


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Thursday, September 02, 2004

A strange thing happened today...

I was in the bathroom, sitting on the throne, and I heard someone in a mechanical wheelchair roll in. First thing I thought was, "I sure am glad that I didn't take the handicapped stall this time." The second thing I thought was that, "I've never been in a bathroom while a paraplegic used the toilet."

I was a little weirded out. I felt like I was in the movie, Signs, and the aliens were right outside my door and I didn't want them to hear me. Then I realized that I was being stupid, it was just a dude there to do what I was doing.

What's wrong with me?


At 9/02/2004 4:16 PM, Blogger ghraper said...

Nothing is wrong with you man. I crap in the handicapped stall all the time. It's nice and roomy!


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Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Who has the cutest baby in the world?

I DO, I DO!!!


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The Governator

A lot of people make fun of Arnold being elected Governor of California. There is even a rap song with the lyric "Why'd the Terminator have to win the election?" Well, he has done a terrific job in California. He was elected more for his ability to clean up the financials and the business end of the government, and he has done that. He is making incredible strides. His approval ratings are through the roof.

People also make fun of him for the way he talks. I thought that Ah-Nold's speach last night was incredible. He was very engaging, it held my interest from start to finish.

Some highlights:

First of all, the entire first section about his life in Austria. It was very moving and set the stage for the rest of his speech. The entire speech can be had here. of my movies was called "True Lies." It's what the Democrats should have called their convention.

I heard Humphrey saying things that sounded like socialism - which is what I had just left. But then I heard Nixon speak. He was talking about free enterprise, getting government off your back, lowering taxes, and strengthening the military. Listening to Nixon speak sounded more like a breath of fresh air.
I said to my friend, "What party is he?" My friend said, "He's a
Republican." I said, "Then I am a Republican!" And I've been a Republican ever since! And trust me, in my wife's family, that's no small achievement!

If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not
the people to the government...then you are a Republican! If you believe a person should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group... then you are a Republican! If you believe your family knows how to spend your money better than the government does... then you are a Republican! If you believe our educational system should be held accountable for the progress of our children ... then you are a Republican! If you believe this country, not the United Nations, is the best hope of democracy in the world ... then you are a Republican! And, ladies and gentlemen ...if you believe we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism ... then you are a Republican!

To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don't be economic girlie men!

Good Stuff!


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Name: Pete
Home: Columbus, Ohio, United States
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