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Memoirs of a Lunatic

The title almost says it all. I'm a little insane, like all folks, and I'm just putting down what I think about. Maybe some of it is funny, maybe some of it isn't. Just come read and find out for yourself.

Monday, February 28, 2005


Ah, the plateau. I weighed in this morning at 265, down 1, 27 overall.

Since I have moved in to my new place and now have access to a workout facility, I am going to get my butt moving this week. Since I haven't been really doing much in that area, I'm hoping that the activity will give my metabolism a little jolt.

Here's to it!


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Sunday, February 27, 2005

Moving Complete (almost)

Well, we made it through moving day unscathed. I definitely want to thank everyone for all of their help.

I picked up G at 6:30am and we headed out to pick up the truck. After I treated him to breakfast for the trouble of getting up so early, we got back to the house. G and I loaded up the truck for almost an hour before any more help arrived. Once they did, we got 90% of the truck packed in an hour and the other 10% (plus 2 pickups) took an additional hour and some change.

Meanwhile, Lo was busy packing the things that we were using up until that minute and the things didn't get packed when we finished at 4am the night before/morning of.

We took the loads over to the new place and unloaded them without too much incident. The toughest part was getting my king sized mattress up the stairs to the master bedroom. It took G, his dad, and I quite a bit of time and energy to struggle it up there.

After unloading, Lo and I took the helpers out to eat at BW3s and then she and I made a return trip to the house for some stupid stuff.

I had a pretty good night's sleep (probably too much, I have a headache now) and Lo was up early and has most things unpacked and in their place already.

So, thanks again to all of my helpers and thanks to Lo's grandparents and Trinity who watched kids so that we could be free to load and as such, they didn't get to partake in the celebratory "Linner". We still need to do something for them, because not having kids around sure made our work easier.

Well, I'm off to do some more moving-related crap. Later.


At 2/27/2005 2:25 PM, Blogger A Woman From Illinois said...

Glad the move went well. And yes they are my eyes. My dad always called me his "brown eyed monkey" because I loved to climb as a kid.

At 2/27/2005 7:33 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Hey, no need for anything back. I loved spending time with my niece. She and the boy had a great time together!

So, what else is there to move? Toys? Clothes from your closets?


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What Does My Name Mean?

Stolen from Trinity, stolen from others.

What does your name mean?


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Saturday, February 26, 2005

Moving Day!

Well, today is the day. As loelsh has mentioned, we are moving. Once we get past the physical moving thing, there are a lot of pluses against only a few minuses in this situation. Ghraper, Trinity, Drifter, and Ghraper and Loelsh's dad will be helping us.

I've rented a Uhaul, packed most of the place up, and we are about ready to go. 6 am comes soon, so I am gonna go work some more, then go to bed.

I'll let you know how it went tomorrow.

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At 2/26/2005 5:20 AM, Blogger XeNia said...

Hey Guru! Just wanna say thanks for your comment on my blog.. ^-^ And thanks for the link. God Bless you.


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Friday, February 25, 2005

Arena Football

I know I am late in putting this up here, but last Saturday I went and saw the Columbus Destroyers play. I got the tickets for free through work and ended up having a pretty good time. There are some major differences between the arena game and the NFL, chronicled here. The biggest ones that blew me away were the fact that one player on offense always gets a big running start before the snap (making him just about impossible to guard), and the fact that there wasn't too much defense.

The Destroyers scored on every possession, sans one, on the way to their first victory of the season. Defense is not what the Arena League is about. But personally, I love to see some great defense in the NFL and NCAA games. I love everything about defense. If I had a job as a coordinator in the NFL, I would coach defense. I freaking love it!

That being said, I do like to see some "high-flying" offense, and the Arena League is all about the pass. I definitely recommend catching a game if you have a team nearby. It is relatively inexpensive and the Arena League is very interested in the fans having a good time.

As soon as we can get the pictures off of her phone Lo can give you a non-fan, female perspective on the game. On top of that, she has some funny pictures to share with you. Until then, here is the view from our seats, taken from my camera phone.


At 2/26/2005 12:18 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Great seats! I would love to go to a game sometime. Now I just need to find the time.


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Thursday, February 24, 2005

Bloody Hell!

Well, I saw the doctor today for my appointment to get my stent out. I got the x-ray and went upstairs for my appointment. The nurse took me in to the room where the procedure was to be performed and I waited for the doctor.

Well, when she came in, she brought bad news. While most of the pieces had made their way out and the x-ray looked clean, there was a decent sized chunk which had made its way out of the kidney (yea!), but it was still in the ureter. The doctor feared that if we removed the stent that the piece was still large enough to cause blockage, messing me all up again.

I said that my vote was to remove the stent anyway, which she considered because sometimes pulling the stent out would catch and get the fragment as well. Ultimately, she decided to leave the stent in until a later appointment. Well, the later appointment that was set up was March 7, like ELEVEN DAYS AWAY!!! I was certainly unable to hide my disappointment.

Well, I will just have to sack it up, I guess.

Seacrest Out.


At 2/24/2005 9:59 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

You said "sack it up"!

Sorry for the disappointment. I know you were really looking forward to getting the stent removed. That bites!


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Wednesday, February 23, 2005


Okay. So, I weighed in at 266 on Monday. I am down 26 pounds, getting compliments, and feeling good about myself.

But, here is the kicker:

On Monday, I was 1 lb heavier than I was when I decided that I was such a fat f*cker that I had to do Atkins. That turned out okay at the time, resulting in me reaching my lowest adult weight of 223. I just shot back up when I ate Biggie Sized meals and tons of snacky cakes.

How about this? On Monday, I was 21 lbs heavier than when I decided that I was so fat that I needed to do Slim-Fast to lose weight. I lost 20 lbs on Slim-Fast and got down to 225 before eating the Biggie Sized meals and snacky cakes and hitting the 265 that resulted in Atkins.

What is funny is how much different I look at different weights. For instance, at 245 (Pre-Slim-Fast), I was extremely bloated looking. Very fat all over. At 266 now, I look thinner than I did when I started Atkins, again because Pre-Atkins, I was very bloated looking.

This is not just perception, I have pictures that show these realities. As a matter of fact, at 245 Pre-Slim-Fast (PSF), I looked rounder and crappier than I do now at 266. Maybe close to the same, but you get my point. In 20 lbs, I will be looking way better than my PSF self. In 44 lbs (222, what will be a new adult low), I expect I will look better than I did Post-Atkins.

I don't know. Maybe I am babbling nonsense. Maybe some people that know me can weigh in here and give their opinions on the matter.


At 2/23/2005 11:42 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Well, are you working out more this time?


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Tuesday, February 22, 2005

What Gender is Your Brain?

My Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

My brain is a healthy mix of male and female
I am both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, I tend to keep level headed
But I also tend to wear my heart on my sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

The quiz was a little rigged. Things like not wanting to take an illegal drug and caring about other people's problems made my brain get a higher female quotient. Whatever. It is just a dumb quiz anyway. At least they said it was healthy.

Take it and let me know how your brain is wired.


At 2/22/2005 8:36 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

I am exactly the same as you Guru. Imagine that.

At 2/22/2005 2:37 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

I think I've said this before, but, it's a GOOD thing trin and guru didn't get together, people who are too much alike never work out, (and oh, how boring!) :)

At 2/22/2005 2:44 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

My brain is 40% female, 60% male:
You have a total boy brain
Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts
And while your emotions do sway you sometimes...
You never like to get feelings too involved

At 2/22/2005 5:37 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Lo, do you know anyone who has broken up because they just had too much alike? (I'm not being smart with you, I really want to know.)

Why do people get divorces? Because of differences.

Why are G and I having a hard time in our marriage? Because of differences.

But, at least I am not bored, heehee!

At 2/22/2005 9:31 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

Yeah, as a matter of fact I do. There IS such a thing as having too much in common. It makes your relationship boring after a while. Just as the world would be a boring place if everyone were the same. Also, I'm sure you've heard that opposites attract. Well there is truth to that statement. It can cause problems as well, but it also adds excitement. Why do you think Pete and I are together. We're opposites, and we attracted! :)

At 2/22/2005 9:32 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 2/22/2005 10:26 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Okay, so let me get this straight. You actually know someone/some couple who has broken up or gotten divorced because they were bored?

I did some research and found out something. There has been a recent study conducted that says that "There is no evidence that opposites attract". If you want to read about it, go here.

And if by excitement you mean fights, stress, feeling unloved, never agreeing...then I think the boring sounds pretty good right now.

Btw, I think you and your hubby got together because you had some similarities to begin with. If you were complete opposites, you wouldn't of even had a first wouldn't have been able to agree on what to do on your night out together. Would you even have had a second date if you found out that you didn't agree on anything?

At 2/23/2005 10:36 AM, Blogger loelsh said...

I'm not trying to argue with you, trin. This is just silly. You're getting defensive here for no reason. Also, you can apply that which you said to your own situation. You have to have had something in common or you would have never gotten married. Loelsh out.

At 2/23/2005 10:42 AM, Blogger loelsh said...

Oh, and to answer your question, yes, broke up not divorced. He didn't like the fact that she didn't have any interests of her own and that she always (at least said) she liked the same things he did because she thought that was what he wanted, thought it would keep them together if they had all the same interests. He got tired of it and left her. (someone I knew from the bank- customers will tell you anything!)

At 2/23/2005 11:03 AM, Blogger loelsh said...

Here, let me start over...
Wow, trin, you and guru sure do have a lot in common. It's too bad the two of you didn't get together, you'd have so much fun, being practically the same person in 2 bodies and all.
Is that more along the lines of what you are looking for?

At 2/23/2005 11:37 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Of course G and I had things in common(just as you and your future hubby did)...but that's my whole point. Thank you for agreeing with me.

I think there is a difference between a woman who has the same interests as a man... and the woman in your story. She was not being her true self. Instead, she was a pushover who didn't have any opinions of her own. He didn't leave her because she tried to share his interests. No, it sounds like he left her because she was not being true to herself. She wouldn't be her own person(had no originality). She was lying to him to keep him...which is much different from two people meeting and having the same interests.

Btw, I'm not looking for anything here. I am just sharing my opinion and looking for insight in what you believe. Our opinions differ quite often but, I love finding out if you and I can back up what we believe in.

At 2/23/2005 12:00 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Here is what I think. You both have some valid points and are practically agreeing. The problem is that you are mainly talking about two different parts of similarities.

Trin is mainly talking about having things in common, which is an essential part of any friendship, including marriage.

Lo is mainly talking about similar personalities conflicting, the same way she and her dad did.

Now I know that you both have alternately switched on and off topic on both, but I do think that you really agree.

Reportedly, 80 percent of couples cite money as a big factor of divorces.

My friend Chad and his wife are extremely the same. They have been married almost 6 years and love each other more every day.

My boss Steve and his wife are very different. They have been married for more than 5 years (don't know how long) and love each other deeply.

So, it either does or does not matter. It depends on the people and their own personal resolve, IMHO.

At 2/23/2005 12:50 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Very well put, my FRIEND.


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Monday, February 21, 2005


This week was pretty much a plateau week. I did have some movement on the scale, however. I now weigh 266, down 2 for the week and 26 lbs overall.

I am hoping to get my stent out this week and allow me to get in to some really good physical activity to really get the scale moving downward.

The most important thing is that in this marathon event, I am keeping an excellent pace, well on my way to hitting the goal of 40 lbs down by April 30th.


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Sunday, February 20, 2005

Big Brother is Watching

This is a neat site. You can enter any address you want, and it will return aerial photographs that are on file of the location. Unfortunately, most of them in my area are from 1994, so they show everyone I know's neighborhood in some sort of contruction state, but it is cool, nonetheless.

Below is a picture of loelsh and ghraper's dad's neighborhood. The red mark is where his house is currently located. As I am sure that everyone around here can attest, that is definitely his neighborhood. I'll tell you what else, it weirds me out just a little bit. It is like looking back in time.

Here is my house, but as you can see, 11 years ago, my yard was a farmer's field. Still cool, though.


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Saturday, February 19, 2005

Mary Camden?

What in the world has happened to poor Jessica Biel. She used to be so wholesome. Now, she is just NSFW.


At 2/19/2005 3:11 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

She has such a nice bod! A bit on the skinny side (almost too skinny), but the shape of her is awesome.


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More Coincidence or Conspiracy...

Continuing in my theme:

I'm sure many of you have seen this, but I wanted to have it on here for the "record".


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Interesting Matrix Site

Here it is. The page is long, but for those of us who LOVE the Matrix movies and were disappointed with how the 3rd one left us, this is a great discussion of ideas.

Swiped from Gundog99.


At 2/19/2005 2:26 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Wow, I haven't seen this in a while. I was on it and read just about everything on the site back in September.

Great site!


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Friday, February 18, 2005

Sad Day

It is a sad day in the blogsphere. I did Drifter a favor today and deleted his blog at his request.

It has (as he had feared) caused him a bit of trouble at work, and to help him keep his job, it is now gone. He may start one up again someday, but for now is gone.

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At 2/18/2005 1:26 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Wow, this is truely a sad day. Now how am I supposed to get my fix for reading the thoughts of a horny man?

At 2/19/2005 3:13 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

Uh, it's the internet, hon. There are plenty of other sites that cater to that exact thing. hehe

At 2/19/2005 10:27 PM, Blogger A Woman From Illinois said...

You can never be to careful. I would probably die if my family found my site


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Thursday, February 17, 2005



In 1919, the Red Sox were the defending Major League Baseball Champions. (The last time they were.)

In 1919, the Stanley Cup was not awarded because the Finals were not played. (Because of the Flu, the only previous time it was not awarded.)

In 1919, Major League Baseball was mired in a scandal involving its elite players cheating. (The Black Sox scandal.)


In 2005, the Red Sox are the defending Major League Baseball Champions.

In 2005, the Stanley Cup will not be awarded because the Finals were not played. (Because of the labor issues, the season was cancelled.)

In 2005, Major League Baseball is mired in a scandal involving its elite players cheating. (The steroid scandal.)

How freaky is that?


At 2/18/2005 8:16 AM, Blogger ghraper said...

If I didn't know better, I might think that history repeats itself.


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I Know You Are Sick Of This...

... but since this blog is about my life and my life is boring, I have to talk about it.

I had a math quiz last Thursday. I totally tanked it. I just stunk up the joint. I knew that I did poorly when I handed it in.

I had a math exam on Tuesday. I know that I aced it. I knew that I had done well when I handed it in.

But, then the good news came. My professor said that he waited to grade the quiz, because he wanted to grade it alongside the test and give us the benefit of the doubt on the quiz and if we did well on a certain problem on the test and not on the quiz, he would be lenient grading the quiz. Does that make sense?

Okay, so I got a 78/80 on my exam, not having any wrong answers, but losing 2 style points. Aced it like I thought. And, on the strength of that test, my quiz grade was a respectable 15/20. So, total points wise, I got 93/100, or a fat 93%. That is what I am talking about.

I love what we are doing right now. An example.

We assume that an oil spill is being cleaned up by deploying bacteria that consume the oil at 1 cubic foot per hour. The oil spill itself is modeled in the form of a very thin cylinder whose height is the thickness of the oil slick. When the thickness of the slick is 0.001 foot, the cylinder is 600 feet in diameter. If the height is decreasing at 0.0004 feet per hour, at what rate is the area of the slick changing?

And I know the answer to that question (it is from my WebWork homework, where we aren't shown the answer until we get it correct), how hot is that?


At 2/17/2005 11:35 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

First off, your life is not boring.

Great job on the 93%!!!


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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Perfect Gift for Blondes Everywhere


At 2/16/2005 12:29 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Or senior citizens!

At 2/16/2005 12:32 AM, Blogger Dan said...

you're a few days late! oh, i cringe to think of all the V day sales you could have had with this gem. anti-technology is the best technology...especially when it comes in funky colors.

At 2/16/2005 5:48 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

Ooh, I want one, I want one!


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Tuesday, February 15, 2005

My Math Professor

I talked a little bit with my math professor after class tonight and found out some interesting information about his schedule.

I knew that he only taught one class at OSU right now (mine) and that he was the instructor on an online calculus course. But, tonight I learned that he also teaches classes at two other universities right now (Capital and Otterbein, I believe). That is crazy. Apparently, the schools don't mind sharing.

Also, I guess that teaching that way doesn't pay too well, because he was telling me that he was considering taking his actuarial test to become an actuary and get paid that way. I asked him how he thought that he would handle the boredom of the job and he replied "Beats being poor." True, that.

I obviously hope him the best, but I love having him for a teacher and I hope that he can somehow find a way to continue to teach because he is really good at it.


At 2/15/2005 11:42 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Teacher's pet...teacher's pet!!!


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Back to Work

Man, it sure is weird going back to work after being off for two and a half weeks. I am having a little bit of trouble feeling like I belong.

Something interesting that is happening, though. It turns out that our IT department doesn't know how to make web services. In fact, their knowledge of anything web-based is horrible. They can do mainframe programming and a little Visual Basic. Other than that, they are lost.

What they want to do, however, is have my team build web services for them and then sell those web services back to our business as if they made them.

Good idea, fellas. Good idea. We will get RIGHT on that.


At 2/15/2005 11:30 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

It sounds like the people in the IT dept are a bunch of lazy crack-head junkie whores.

At 2/15/2005 11:33 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Oddly enough, that is their actual OFFICIAL job title.

Strange that you would know that...


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Monday, February 14, 2005

Men's Answer To Valentine's Day

Here you go.



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Valentine Weigh In

Well, on the heels of my good clothes day, comes my 'Good Weigh Day'.

I weighed in this morning at 268, 7 down for the week, and 24 lbs overall. I only have 16 more lbs to go for our End-of-April goal and 46 to go until I reach the lowest that I will have been in my adult life.

Here I go!


At 2/14/2005 9:28 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Great job on the weight loss this week. Way to go!


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Some Love-Themed Humor...

For Valentine’s Day.

"Guess Which One I'm Going to Marry"

A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The Jewish mother replies, "I don't like her."


Happy Valentine’s Day, Everyone.


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Sunday, February 13, 2005

Good Clothes Day

You’ve heard of bad/good hair days, right?  Well, today I had a good clothes day. 

Here is a photo of me in my outfit.  The shirt came from a Trinity $.25 special, I believe, and my pants are courtesy of Loelsh, right after I started my current job.

Pete in his Good Clothes Day Outfit

I was getting ready to go to church and I needed something to wear.  I know that I’ve lost a good deal of weight (tell you how much tomorrow) and I decided to try out some clothes.  I first got out the black polo shirt and tried it on.  It had not ever fit me since I got it.  And … it fit really well, even loose in crucial spots.

Then, I tried on a pair of pants that I had given up on back in September or so.  Even then, I had to struggle to get in to them.  Today I just pulled them up and buttoned them, with no other effort required.

Next, I looked in the mirror.  I thought that I looked really good.  I went to church feeling pretty good about how I was looking.  It was a nice change of pace.


At 2/13/2005 10:41 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

You go honey! At least one of us can wear a smaller size!

At 2/13/2005 11:03 PM, Blogger Guru said...

I forgot to mention.

Obviously, I am still fat, since I am like 70 lbs from my goal weight. I'm not trying to say that I look like Brad Pitt right now. I'm just mentioning that clothes that didn't fit, now do. And, it is a nice feeling.

At 2/13/2005 11:43 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Very nice outfit! I especially love the shirt!!!


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Get Your Hitch On

Loelsh and I went to see the new Will Smith movie Hitch last night. I was going to call it the Will Smith/Kevin James movie, but K.J. isn't really in the movie all that much. But, take heart King of Queens fans, he steals every scene that he is in.

I had worried that all of the funny scenes in this movie would have been in the trailers, but that just wasn't the case. This movie was laugh-out-loud funny for almost the entire duration.

If you don't already know the plot, just click on the movie's name above to read what has to say about it. I don't want to say too much else about it so that it can be fresh when you go see it.

And make no mistake. I recommend that everyone go see this movie. It is very funny. Will and Kevin work well together and they are both perfect in their roles. If anyone out there has seen this yet, leave me a comment and let me know what you think of it.


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Saturday, February 12, 2005

I Can See My Wife Doing This...

 The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her! The man said, "You can't
be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is
loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them.


At 2/12/2005 2:26 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

You're stoopi'! I would never be able to do that to you. I wouldn't be able to get the chair you're sitting in out from under you. It would be much easier to just hit you in the temple with the gun! hehe

At 2/13/2005 1:00 PM, Blogger A Woman From Illinois said...

Hopefully he learned his lesson!!


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Friday, February 11, 2005

Unwanted Adventure

Man, yesterday was crazy.  Since I missed math class on Tuesday (because of the procedure), I wanted to get to the lecturer’s office hours so that I could catch up the craziness that was Tuesday’s lesson.  I got driving directions to his building from Yahoo (big mistake) and ended up somewhere that I knew that I could have gotten all by myself a lot easier.

I ended up having to get out of the car and wonder around for a little bit to find the office.  I walked about a third of a mile and got there with about 30 – 35 minutes left of his office hour time.  Except, even though he knew I was coming, he wasn’t there for the remainder of the time, showing up just in time to grab his things, apologize, and walk to class.  So, we logged about a half a mile walking to class.  I do class, and get ready to leave.

Well, Loelsh drove me and was just shopping and whatnot while I went to class.  My job was to call her and meet up.  But, I forgot my cell phone at home.  So, I started walking toward the stadium from class.  One third of a mile later, I was there, only to watch her head to where I was supposed to be and I was unable to stop her.  She didn’t know that I didn’t have a phone, so she was worried about me.

I walked back down the street, past my class and all the way to the Wendy’s to use the pay phone (the first one I came across), two-thirds of a mile more walking.  To add more bad news, you can’t call a cell phone collect, so I had to call my wife’s grandmother and have her pass directions to where I was.

Lo eventually found me and we got to head home, about 40 minutes later than if I had remembered my phone.  Stupid freaking me!  But, if I hadn’t forgot my phone, I wouldn’t have had a newfound intimate knowledge of campus.  How’s that for thinking positive?


At 2/11/2005 7:43 PM, Blogger A Woman From Illinois said...

Well, you got your exercise for the day!!!


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Thursday, February 10, 2005

New Medication That I am Taking

They are hoping that this will help me out.


At 2/10/2005 11:14 AM, Blogger loelsh said...

Wow, can I get some of that?!!

At 2/10/2005 11:34 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Ummm, what are the side affects?

At 2/10/2005 11:51 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Actually, they are much like Peter's behavior in Office Space after he sees that hypnotist.

At 2/11/2005 12:07 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Hmmmmmkay, that would be grrrrreat.



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Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Do You Believe in Me?

With so much turmoil in the world, God decided to pay a visit to earth to check things out. He strolled into a bar and approached the first man he saw. "If you believe in me enough to give me $50," he said, "I will grant you eternal life."

"Sorry, I'm an atheist," the fellow replied, "and have never believed in God."

God walked up to another man and made the same offer. "Well, I'm an agnostic and not really sure if I believe in you or not," the guy said, "but here's 50 bucks, just in case."

As the Lord turned away, a third man ran up to him. "I'm Pat Robertson and don't really care if you're God or not," he said excitedly. "Just teach me the trick you did with the agnostic and I'll give you $100."


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How the Procedure Went

There is good news and bad news. The good news is that the kidney stone got pulverized in to little tiny pieces and should just be getting washed out with the rest of the trash. The bad news is that the doctor is keeping my stent in for at least another 2 weeks. I don't really know why.

The procedure went easy enough. I showed up at 11:45 am, they got me gowned and x-rayed. At 12:50 pm, I got taken to the room and they were able to see the stone on their equipment so they IV'ed me and put me to sleep. I woke up at about 2:00 pm and didn't feel any pain. The attending nurse checked my for bruising (which I guess is common), and I didn't have any. The doctor showed up and told me that they blasted it in to the size of sand or pepper and did use the maximum 3,000 shocks on me. I got up as soon as they would let me and left the place at like 2:40 pm to go have my first food of the day, a bread bowl of chili at Tim Horton's.

I'm staying home from work today because I'm having a decent amount of pain and some blood, which should clear up by tomorrow. I also slept until after noon, so that wouldn't have been conducive to much work, would it?

Thanks to everyone who thought of me before, during, or after the procedure. I appreciate it.


At 2/09/2005 12:45 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Do you have any bruising today? And, did you like your luncinner? Was it everything you thought it would be/taste and more?

At 2/09/2005 12:50 PM, Blogger Guru said...

No, I don't. And it isn't at all tender.

The breadbowl was good, but it came in under expectations. But, I know why. I would have much rather gotten the beef or chicken stew, because T.H. puts mushrooms in their chili. Yuk!

At 2/09/2005 1:06 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Mushrooms are of the devil!!! YUCK!

Definitely try one of their stew the next time. You will not be dissapointed.


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Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Today is the Day

Well, I have abstained from food and drink since midnight in preparation for my 11:45 am appointment at the American Kidney Stone Management Clinic today. They are going to put me to sleep and send 2000-3000 directed electric shocks through my body to break up the stone. It should take about 30 minutes. I want them to also take out my stent, as it is causing me MAD CRAZY pain, but we will see.

On another note, kids say the darndest things, don't they? My second daughter's birthday is tomorrow. On Sunday, we had a get-together at Pizza Hut for the family and she received (among other things) $20.00 from her Papaw.

Yesterday, I asked her what she wanted to spend that money on. Her reply was "A coloring book and a pencil." Who's cute? Kids have no concept of money. She could have just as easily said "A new car", because she just has no clue what things cost.

I love that kid. How did I get blessed with the 3 best kids in the world?


At 2/08/2005 8:26 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Ummm, you may have the best kids, but I have the bestest kid!!!

At 2/08/2005 8:28 AM, Blogger Guru said...

I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you, there.

At 2/08/2005 8:29 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Okay, I have the most bestest!

At 2/08/2005 9:07 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Again, we disagree. But, such is life.

At 2/08/2005 10:06 PM, Blogger A Woman From Illinois said...

I hope all went well today!


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A Few Bits of Humor

Four Year Old Boy Drives to Video Store and Back

A Jewish girl tells her Catholic college roommate that she's going home for Rosh Hashanah.

The Catholic girl asks the Jewish girl, "Is this the holiday when you light the candles?"

"No," the Jewish girl replies, "That's Hannukah."

The Catholic girl then asks the Jewish girl, "Is that when you eat unleavened bread?"

"No," the Jewish girl replies, "That's Passover. Rosh Hashanah is the holiday when we blow the shofar."

The Catholic girl replies, "That's what I like about you Jews, you're so good to your help."


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Monday, February 07, 2005


Well, stinkin' snot!

I am down 4 lbs this week to 275, 17 lbs overall. That's not a bad one week total, but as you may or may not remember, last week I had no movement on the scales because of all sorts of fluid retention and whatnot from my current health problems.

What makes me mad about this week is that I have been having the same fluid problems and the scale has been making all kinds of moves, even to below what I weighed in at this morning. I guess I should be happy for what I've got, but I know that I'm not going to be able to make big scale moves until I can exercise again. I'm hoping to be able to test the waters again sometime this week after my operation on Tuesday to pulverize the stone (and hopefully remove the stent!).

Since I am the king of TMI, you are sure to hear about it as it goes. L8R.


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Superbowl Commercials

My favorite ad was for Ameriquest Mortgage. They had a "don't judge too quickly" campaign. There were two commercials where you were watching something happen, but when someone in the commercial saw it, they thought something completely different.

My favorite one of those two was the one where the man was making spaghetti. The cat kept climbing on the counter and had to keep being set down. Well, the man was chopping something for the spaghetti and the cat climbed on to the stove and knocked over the sauce on to the floor, getting some on itself in the process. The man picked up the sauce stained cat with one hand while he held the knife in the other.

Just then, his woman walked in to see a pile of red on the floor, red all over the cat, and the man holding the cat up with a knife in his hand. The visual gag was just very funny.

What was your favorite?


At 2/07/2005 2:44 PM, Blogger Bre said...

I especially enjoyed those too. But my favorite was definately the salute to the soldiers - because democrat/republican issues aside - they're putting their lives on the line and we really ought to thank them.

The P.Diddy commercial with the Pepsi truck also made me chuckle

At 2/08/2005 8:20 AM, Blogger ghraper said...

The tobasco commercial was hot and saucy!

I Thought the FedEx one with Burt Reynolds and the dancing bear was the most clever though.

Personally could have done without the frozen guy in a Mustang they played a million times.


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You Know You're Addicted to Coding When...

Editor's Note: Yes, I AM a nerd!

You have nightmares about COBOL and ADA.

You can multiply a 32 bit binary number by a 6 digit hexadecimal number in your head.

You laugh at movies that show programmers at work.

You walk outside and wonder why the sun doesn't make a lens-flare in your eye....

You get withdrawal symptoms if you're away from a computer for more than 3 hours

(Lines_of_Code) / (Hours_of_Sleep) < (Number_of_Energy_Drinks_Consumed)

You end each line you type with ";", even plain english ones;

When your significant other mentions having kids you lecture her on the disadvantages of multiple inheritance.

You have 2 bookshelves filled with programming books in your room... because the 5 shelves in the living room are full.

You know the following sequence by heart: 1 2 4 8 16 32 64 128 256 512 1024 2048 4096 8192 16384 32768 65536 131072

You read The Tao of Programming...and relate.

When you take a break from programming, and program.

When you can say with a great level of confidance that you have written more lines of code than english.

You wake up in the middle of the night with the solution to your coding problem.

Your 4 year old son has seen you login and out of Windows and Linux so much that he can do it himself.

You are the only one who knows what the difference is between a coder and a programmer.

You have more groceries inside your keyboard than in your fridge.

You have a toothbrush next to your monitor.

The people you respect most you have never physically seen or spoken to, but you always bow to their knowledge.

You consider 'drinking caffeine' and 'sleeping' to be synonyms.

You can write 'Pong' in any language for any OS (or even NO OS) in under 4 minutes.

You actually feel like crap from getting 8 hours of sleep, that just so unnatural

You can't help but squeeze math and research topics in while sweet-talking to a girl.

You have a "hacker's manicure" (i.e. huge calluses on all your fingers)

When you die you want "Hello world" carved into your headstone

You keep old computers around and boot them up every once in awhile for the nostalgia.

Your mother phoned you to see if you were still alive, and you responded "ping".

You look at your old code and cringe

You read books on quantum physics and time-travel to relax.

When someone asks you your favorite color, you give the RGB code in binary.

No one else can ever use your computer, as it is tweaked so much only you know how to use it.

The first time you use another person's computer it takes you less than 30 seconds to completely disable all useless programs from running at boot and uninstalling all the ad-ware the fools had on the system.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to coding.


At 2/07/2005 8:19 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

"You actually feel like crap from getting 8 hours of sleep, that just so unnatural"

I had to laugh at this one because it sounded a lot like you! Very funny.


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Sunday, February 06, 2005

Disney on Ice

As Loelsh had blogged about before, we were going to see Disney on Ice for my younger daughter's birthday. It was a really great time for our whole family.

First off, when we were first getting downtown, the girls went on and on about how tall the buildings were. My oldest exclaimed that it looked like New York! Funny kid. What she knows about New York, she got from the Mary-Kate and Ashley movie New York Minute. They also marveled at the site of the Nationwide Arena and they were just so giddy seeing all of the people and vendors.

Once we were inside, they were just extremely impressed with the skaters and their dancing and spinning. They loved the costumes, the music, the lights, the explosions, the flying, all of it.

All throughout the play, my younger daughter kept telling me how much fun she was having and how much she loved her mother and I and what fun parents we were. She is usually very forthcoming with her love and praise for us, but this was the most overboard that she had ever gone. She just really enjoyed herself.

My oldest daughter had a great time, too. To be honest, Lo and I enjoyed the show as well. I only wish that they had spent more time with The Little Mermaid and less time with Lilo and Stitch and Peter Pan, but it's okay. The show was great anyway.

I think we might try to make something like this a yearly tradition.


At 2/06/2005 6:44 PM, Blogger A Woman From Illinois said...

I'm happy the whole family enjoyed them selves. These are the memories that we cherish a life time.


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Saturday, February 05, 2005

Bit Torrent

Disclaimer: If anyone reading this is a law enforcement type, I acquire no illegal content through the use of peer to peer file sharing.

I have commented before about how I am loving the new show, Numb3rs. Well, last night I had to miss the show because of pressing engagements. Rather than be distressed, I realized that I could check in on Saturday morning and download yesterday's episode from my Bit Torrent brethren, just as if I had TiVo'ed it myself. But, I couldn't TiVo it (I don't have TiVo) and I couldn't video tape it (my VCR is acting nuts), so now I am able to support my favorite of the new network shows.

It would be nice if CBS would offer their shows on demand through the web to anyone who wanted to see them. Even if it was just the previous one, with the national commercial spots in there, I wouldn't mind.

Just an idea. I'll leave it to the media brains to figure how to get it to me.


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Friday, February 04, 2005

Some Humor

Q: What do you call a schizophrenic Buddhist?

A: Someone who is at two with the universe.


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Freaking Trivia!

I tried to take Trin's trivia yesterday and I got this error.

Free Image Hosting at

I just knew that it had really started my clock, even though I got no test. And sure enough, when I was finally allowed to take the quiz, over 2 hours and 20 mins later, I got dinged for 8524 seconds, good for last place on the day.

I wish there was some sort of appeal process where we could get errors like that corrected, but there isn't. And, as Lo reminded me, it is just a game. But, nothing is just a game to me. Oh, well.

That is the same reason I hate board games. They aren't relaxing. They actually create a small bit of stress where I have to strive to win.

But what really sucks is that I got 9 right yesterday and in barely over a minute, which would have been good for first place on the day. Instead, I get last.

Life is grand when the computer is shafting you.


At 2/04/2005 9:04 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

How come this only happens to you? I think the system knows that if you didn't get these kinds of errors so often, that you would really whip our butts. Of course you do that anyway, but this gives us hope of someday surpassing the trivia master.

At 2/04/2005 9:09 AM, Blogger Guru said...

I don't know why.

But, it happened with IE and Firefox on my main computer. It also happened with Safari and Firefox on my iMac. AND, it also was there when I logged on with my work laptop, so I know that the trivia place was having some sort of problem then. It just sucks, that's all.

At 2/04/2005 11:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Guru. So sorry about the loss. I feel just terrible being in first place when clearly it should have been you! Ha..... yeah right! I won I won I won! Ok, I know that was mean but I never win and I think sometimes I deserve the top spot! So I will enjoy this victory, as small as it may be! Go me!!!
PS... I hope this happens to your computer again the next time I am in the #1 spot!!! Oh, I mean good luck next time!

Princess J


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The Curve

Hi. My name is Guru and I bust curves :-)

I got my Math test back yesterday and I got 80/80. I was thrilled. People were asking about the grades and my teacher said, "Well, one person got 80, everyone else got quite a bit less." Nice.

This morning they published the test statistic for all of 151 all over Ohio State. The median score for all students taking this test at OSU was 49/80. WOW. I scored 31 points above the median. That gives me quite a sense of accomplishment.

Life is grand when you are understanding the calculus.


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Thursday, February 03, 2005

Shogun Assassin

As some of you know, I love the rap music. One of my favorite all time groups of rappers is the Wu-Tang Clan. I love their group albums and I love Method Man's, ODB's, Genius', Raekwon, and Ghostface's solo albums.

One of the things that I like best about their albums is their use of audio from different martial arts movies. I actually went and bought Shaolin vs. Wu-Tang and other movies in that series because I enjoyed the clips so much that I thought that I would like the movies... and I did.

Well, on the Genius' solo album, he uses quotes from the movie Shogun Assassin, which itself is merely the first two movies from the "Baby Cart" series spliced together to make one movie. The problem is that (as you can see from the DVD case above) the movie had been banned and was so cult popular that copies of it were hard to come by.

I was finally able to track down a copy on the internet and I watched it Tuesday night. It is short, about 82 minutes, but very action packed and bloody. The blood fountains that are in Kill Bill are an homage to these movies, as are the three "bad dudes" in Big Trouble in Little China (another cult classic).

What was very neat was that of the 82 minutes, I knew over ten minutes of dialogue, word for word, because of the Genius' album.

I really enjoyed Shogun Assassin, not just for the action, but for the storyline. A samurai gets tired of the shogun's insane ways and is going to quit. The shogun sends assassins after the samurai, but they kill his wife instead. The samurai vows revenge and walks the countryside with his toddler son in a baby carriage. But, the kid's ride is PIMPED with all sorts of swords and whatnot hidden on it.

The kid is the narrator of the movie, which gives it a nice innocent balance from all of the bloody violence that befalls anyone who tangles with our hero. And, besides that, the samurai is a very loving father. The movie just strikes me as a story that I enjoy engrossing myself in.

I will try to track down as many of the original six movies as I can to follow the continuing adventures of the "Lone Wolf and Cub". If anyone that I know personally and live near would like to see the movie, I can try to burn an SVCD or DVD and hang out and watch it sometime. If you wouldn't like to see it, F you then.

Seacrest, out.


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Wednesday, February 02, 2005

What Nationality Were Adam and Eve?

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."


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With deference to G, I am talking about the show, not my weight.

Last Sunday, the 23rd, I watched the Premiere of Numb3rs.  I really enjoyed the show and actually considered the second episode’s air time of Friday at 10pm (its regular time) when I was pushing to get discharged from the hospital.

Because Trinity hadn’t seen either one, I downloaded them from the internet and burnt them to DVD for her to watch.  I hope that this recommendation doesn’t go as poorly for her as my recommendation of Ocean’s 12.

The basic plot of the show is this: “Working for the FBI, a mathematician uses equations to help solve various crimes.”  So, it is like CSI with math instead of science.  As I am a total math geek, I love watching the show to at least get the gist of what math that they are trying to use to predict human behavior. 

What I hope, though, is that the concept doesn’t get stale too soon.  But, I worried the same thing about CSI.  Drifter and I both wondered how many times they could find blood or match DNA without it being boring.  CSI has found a way and I hope that Numb3rs does, also.

Rob Morrow (from Northern Exposure fame) plays Don Epps, the FBI agent.  David Krumholtz (Bernard in The Santa Clause) plays his brother Charlie the mathematician.  David K does an excellent job acting like a math nerd and just as in Northern Exposure, Rob Morrow does the uptight professional thing well. 

I really hope that Trin likes that show and even more that it continues to do well so that I can have something besides “What Not to Wear” to watch at 10 pm on Fridays.

Yea, Math!


At 2/04/2005 12:05 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

I finally had time today to finish watching both episodes. It's not too bad. I found the show entertaining, but not enough for me to record an episode so that I don't miss it. But, if I am ever home at 10 on a Friday night, this will be the show I watch(If I am not all ready watching a movie).

Btw, I loved David Krumholtz in The Addams Family Values movie. He was Wednesday's boyfriend.


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A Great Compliment

As I blogged about yesterday, I had a math exam last night.  It was in typical math exam form, consisting of 4 questions with a 40 minute time limit.  Each question did also have some sub-points that needed to be completed on the way to the answer.

My teacher walked around the room during the exam, mumbled “Good Job” as he passed my desk, but stopped the entire class to point out a mistake that someone else was making and warned the class NOT to make that mistake doing the problem.  He said that if someone handed in a paper with that mistake, he would “Transfer to a catholic school, get a ruler, and beat us with it!”  To be fair, he DID make the point in question VERY clear in class and RIGHT before the exam.

When explaining what sort of answer he was looking for in question one, he told us that he wanted to see our number line where we did the work, since the calculator would obviously graph it for us.  But, as he walked around the room he said, “If I don’t see a F, U, C, K, I, N, G (yes he spelled it) NUMBER LINE for question number one, I will mark it all wrong, even if the answer is right!”  God bless ‘em.  He stressed all of these points over and over again in the review.  He wants us to get good grades.  But, some people…

Anyhow, when I was done (first one), I handed him my exam.  He looked at all of the pages and said, astonished, that it was all right.  He remarked again that every answer was right.  That isn’t to say, he said, that I may or may not lose a point or two due to an error on how I received the answer, but at the moment he said it looked flawless.  He did the little Wayne and Garth “We’re not worthy” bow to me and asked me if I had taken Calc before, because I seemed to understand it so well.

I told him that nine years ago I started to take it, but the teacher was inept and the class wasn’t ready, so we disbanded.  And, we definitely hadn’t made it this far in our studies.  I was just learning all of this for the first time.  He again re-iterated the quality of the job that I did and went about collecting other exams.  (Sometimes handing them back with instructions to keep working on a particular problem until time was up.)

I’ve said before, I love my math teacher.  He is a great teacher.  He is extremely smart in mathematics.  So for him to appreciate and praise my work really made my night.


At 2/02/2005 9:42 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

This guy sounds like a lot of fun just as my high school math teacher was. This teacher of mine made me want to teach math since it looked like she was having a lot of fun. And the fact that math came so easy to me.

I'm glad you had a good evening at school.


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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

The high school years...

What year was it?

What was your favorite outfit?
Jean Shorts, Sneakers, and my Pearl Jam T-Shirt.

What was up with your hair?
Regular men’s haircut, parted on the left, tapered in the back.

Who were your best friends?
Mike R, and Mike M

What did you do after school?
Hang out with Mike Squared

Where did you work?
KFC for a month, Big Bear Supermarket the rest of the time

Did you take the bus?
No, I lived within 5 minute walking distance.

Who did you have a crush on?
Aimee Staggs.

Did you fight with your parents?
No, I was a compliant child.

Who did you have a CELEBRITY crush on?
Many, but the biggest was on Marina Sirtis (Troi) from Star Trek:TNG.

Did you lug all of your books around in your backpack all day because you were too nervous to find your locker?
Nope.  Went to my locker often.

Did you have a 'clique'?
Not too much.  But, mostly hung out with the baseball team.

Did you have "The Max" like Zach Kelly and Slater?

Admit it, were you popular?
I was friends with all of the popular people.  I was cool with jocks, nerds, cheerleaders, black guys, white guys, whoever.  They all talked to me at school and many times on the phone.  I just never went to any parties.  I was accepted, known, liked, but I didn’t get out much.

Who did you want to be just like?
Jason Davis.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
Math Teacher, Mechanical Engineer.

Where did you think you'd be at the age you are now?
Here in Ohio, but making a lot more money.


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Psych Test Results

Well, I finally was able to see the posted results from my 1st Psych Midterm.  I got 46/50 right.  It was the 2nd highest grade in the class (someone got 48).  I’m very happy, though, because a whole bunch of people got in the 30’s.  I would have seriously had to rethink my academic strategy if I had scored that low.

Yesterday, I also participated in the first hour of my seven required hours of psychological testing.

In the first test, I had to listen to a guy say circle and shircle.  Some of the times he was purposely really sloppy saying it.  We had to press an ‘S’ button or a ‘Sh’ button for the sound that we heard at the beginning of the word.  There was a hypothesis that when we couldn’t tell the difference, we would revert to the sound that went with the real word.

The second test was actually two tests together.  In the first part, they gave us words with missing letters and we had to figure out what the word was.  For instance, _in_er could be winter, winner, or sinner.  Whatever.  That was the first part.

The second part made us read an editorial about gun control and answer questions about it.  Then we had to answer questions about how we felt about our answers and so on.

There was also a strange part in the middle where we had to follow a bouncing ball on the screen with our heads.  That went on for at least 2 minutes.  I think that that part was just comic relief for the people watching us behind the tinted glass.

So, that was my evening at school.  Math exam tonight.  Wish me luck!


At 2/01/2005 8:17 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Take luck!!!


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Name: Pete
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