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Memoirs of a Lunatic

The title almost says it all. I'm a little insane, like all folks, and I'm just putting down what I think about. Maybe some of it is funny, maybe some of it isn't. Just come read and find out for yourself.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Hoosiers and Baseball

This may be a weird thing to think about, since I haven't seen Hoosiers in over a year, but this is the way my mind works.

For those of you who haven't seen the movie, I will set the scene for you. Gene Hackman's character (Coach Dale) is taking over a high school basketball team in a town obsessed with their team.

Well, Dale isn't received well and the players rebel against the methods that he employs in practice. In fact, two players are causing a disturbance and at least one actually walks out of practice, quitting the team when he is confronted.

Well, here comes the part that is on my mind. A little later in the movie, the boy's dad brings him back to practice to apologize to the coach and the team, promise to do better, and ask for his spot back on the team. You can tell the kids dad has really given him what-for.

Why don't more fathers act like that? Why don't more fathers have the kind of relationship that they can straighten their sons out when they are out of line? Instead, it seems like many fathers don't even try to instill those values, let alone succeed.

If a child shows any promise in athletics, he is treated like a star - even at a young age - and discipline and sportsmanship too often go out the window.

I started thinking about this because I have recently been deeply longing to do what I've wanted to do for a long time, but just haven't. I want to coach a youth baseball team.

Not teeball, but kids at about the 10-11 year age. I have quite a bit of knowledge about the game to pass on. I don't want to be involved at the teeball level - I don't want to teach the basic skills of catching the ball - but I would rather teach kids who are in that 10-11 year old range how to field the ball and proper baserunning and how to hit.

Maybe next year I can be an assistant coach to a youth baseball team. I've had fun teaching my girls the basics and I cannot wait until I can move past the most basic of skills and teach the fun stuff.

I played catcher on my high school team and loved working with the pitchers to teach them pitches and good mechanics. I read so many books and watched so many videos so that I could actually be the general on the field that I was expected to be to all of the position players.

Many great managers are former catchers, because of the knowledge of the game that catchers glean during the course of their careers. I just want to pass on the knowledge that I gained to the next generation.


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Wednesday, June 29, 2005


I don't know why I find this so funny, but I do. I read it once before quite a while ago, but recently came across it again and decided to share.

The Pope vs. Moishe

About a century or two ago, the Pope challenged the Jewish community of Rome to a debate.

The Jews looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. So they finally picked an old man named Moishe who spent his life sweeping up after people to represent them. Being old and poor, he had less to lose, so he agreed. He asked only for one addition to the rules of debate. Not being used to saying very much, he asked that neither side be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews win."

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger, to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him, that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe, amazed that this old, almost feeble-minded man had done what all their scholars had insisted was impossible. "What happened?" they asked.

"Well," said Moishe, "first he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here."

"And then?" asked a woman.

"I don't know," said Moishe. "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."


At 6/29/2005 5:51 PM, Blogger Girl in Progress said...

seen that before..still funny. :o)


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Tuesday, June 28, 2005


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Last night, my nephew stayed overnight with us since his parents were going to be out late at a baseball game. The kids all had a good time and after everyone got dressed for bed, my nephew and my youngest daughter played on the computer while my oldest daughter and I laid in their bed talking.

My oldest daughter was asking me a ton of questions about some serious life issues. She asked me about the relationship between wealth and fame and I explained that not all famous people are rich and not all rich people are famous. I also explained how some people get famous, then get rich.

Then she asked me about poor people and whether rich people gave money to poor people. We then had a discussion about the difference between poor people and homeless people and what kind of help people usually give. I told her about people being leery of giving money, but instead giving them food or food gift certificates or giving through organizations that handle the gruntwork and also get the money to the most amount of people.

Then she asked me again what the plan was to escape their room in the case of a fire. This was a discussion that we have had many times, both at our old house and at our new house. She likes to know the escape route from wherever she is - which oddly enough I also do wherever I am.

Lest you think that I was answering her questions with TMI, she drove where the discussion went with some very intelligent followup questions.

I know for a fact that she won't remember much of what was said, but what she will do is use what she did retain as a basis for future discussions with me or learning opportunities in the world. Which, really, is all that you can ask from someone that you are trying to teach.


At 6/29/2005 4:26 PM, Blogger steve said...

I love questions from kids. Straight up and real and most of the time Really challenging


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Monday, June 27, 2005

Ahh, Monday

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I've spent all morning in meetings, then the first part of the afternoon in meetings. How great is that?

What was worse was that someone inconsiderately scheduled the first afternoon meeting at 1:30 - smack dab in the middle of my normal lunch hour. Note to the big ballers: not everyone works 7 - 4 and takes lunch at 11 or noon. Some people work 9-6 and take lunch at 1pm!

They just don't get us lazy coders, I'll tell you what. The good news is that I have a lot of job security for the foreseeable future. Got a pile of work to do, and a lot of higher-up people waiting to see it.

Life is grand when you are workin' for a livin'!


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Zombie Dogs

I find this interesting, but very, very scary. Maybe I have seen too many movies.

A quick synopsis of the story is as follows:
Scientists have created eerie zombie dogs, reanimating the canines after several hours of clinical death in attempts to develop suspended animation for humans.

US scientists have succeeded in reviving the dogs after three hours of clinical death, paving the way for trials on humans within years.


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Sunday, June 26, 2005

Google Meme from Trin

Trin's results

My results:

Place where you grew up and where I live now:
Where I was born (this is a picture of Pittsburgh, I was born in Jeanette, a suburb of Pittsburgh, but there weren't any good pics of Jeanette)
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Where I live now. Good old Columbus, Ohio
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My name:
Guru, baby.
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My favorite food:
Can't choose just one. How about Pizza, meatloaf, and Syrian Rice (I cheated on this one - couldn't find any good pics on Google, but did fine a slightly different recipe!)
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My favorite drink:
Diet Coke, no doubt.
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My favorite movie:
Can't pick one here either. How about Major League, A Few Good Men, Bourne Identity, and Star Wars: ROTJ? (I'm sure that I forgot something that I love.)
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My favorite smell:
Big fan of Curve, Sun-Ripened Raspberry, and Lovespell
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At 6/27/2005 9:41 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Great answers! Thanks for stealing one of my fav memes...heehee!


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Saturday, June 25, 2005

Google Portal

Google is finally working on taking the last step to beat Yahoo and MSN into the ground. They are making themselves an official portal site. Here is the link, I believe it is still in beta.

Here is a screenshot
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You can totally customize the content and then drag and drop it to position it on the screen. (For the geeks out there, that feature is available in Visual Studio .Net 2005, with a feature known as web parts, but I believe that Google is using their own proprietary coding.)

All in all, I'd say that it is pretty neat. I'm making it my homepage.

Go Google, Go Google, Go, Go, Go Google!


At 6/26/2005 10:03 PM, Blogger Sera Strawbridge said...

I love Columbus!


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Friday, June 24, 2005

Fun With Math and Science

From TheCaretaker


The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is Isaiah 30:26, "Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days." Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we do from the Sun, and in addition 7*7 (49) times as much as the Earth does from the Sun, or 50 times in all. The light we
receive from the Moon is one 1/10,000 of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that ... The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E)^4 = 50, where E is the absolute temperature of the earth (300K), gives H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed ... [However] Revelations 21:8 says "But the fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, 444.6C. We have, then, that Heaven, at 525C is hotter than Hell at 445C.
From "Applied Optics" vol. 11, A14, 1972


At 6/24/2005 4:46 PM, Blogger carrie said...

cool stuff
or hot. whichever the case may be

At 6/26/2005 3:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who knew science could BE so fun???


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Chappelle's Show Season 2

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As I noted here, on of the presents that I received for Father's Day was a gift card to Best Buy from my father-in-law. I decided to put that to good use to purchase the Complete Season 2 of Chappelle's Show.

I still haven't watched any of it, but I am really excited to check it out. My favorite moments this season were the Race Draft and Charlie Murphy's stories about run-ins with Rick James and Prince.

Well, some of the DVD extras include more Charlie Murphy celebrity stories that were never aired, in addition to other skits and Chappelle standup.

As soon as I am able to watch it (read: kids otherwise occupied), I will let you know how funny the DVD extras are, because I know that I don't need to tell anyone how funny the show is.

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"GAME. BLOUSES." - Prince


At 6/24/2005 4:47 PM, Blogger carrie said...

i've rented two seasons of chappelle's show recently. some funny stuff!

At 6/24/2005 9:51 PM, Anonymous Sarah said...

I wonder if he's coming back after his wig-out?

PS like yours too!

At 12/11/2005 11:57 AM, Anonymous Isaiah Klein said...

I do not think so.

At 12/11/2005 1:28 PM, Blogger Guru said...

No, Isaiah, I don't think he is coming back. I had held out hope, though.

Good news is that Comedy Central is going to air what they had filmed for season 3.


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Thursday, June 23, 2005


Well, it has been a long time coming, but my son is finally officially bipedal.

He has been able to do it for quite some time, but didn't know that he could. He regularly wandered all over the house, barely touching the furniture. But, the second that he let go of the furniture, he would just automatically get down on all fours. The confidence just wasn't there. (Am I sure that he's my son? My wife will tell you that I am not one to generally lack faith in myself. ;-) )

But, now the skill is there and in use and just needs refined. Let's just hope that he doesn't end up walking like a duck like my father and I do.


At 6/24/2005 9:49 AM, Blogger Princess21 said...

Congrats to the little man!!


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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Giant Popsicle Disaster

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True story.

Very Crazy.


At 6/22/2005 3:05 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

For some reason now, I'm hungry. Between popsicle and doughnut talk, my stomach is growling!


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I decided to bring Timbits in for my co-workers today. I was early enough that I could stop and still make it on time and since I've been here, everyone has brought something in except me. I had to step up.

The funny difference is in how I announced the arrival of the goodies. Here I had to say, "Everyone, I brought Timbits in. Enjoy!", in my best cheery, I-mean-you-no-harm voice.

If I was still at my previous job it would have gone like this. I would have come in, set them down with some force and a little bit of attitude. Then, in my best monotone, jailhouse-thug voice, I would have announced, "Timbits, B*tches" and walked off.

Ahhhh, Good Times.


At 6/22/2005 12:13 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Did you walk off before or after taking a few for yourself?

At 6/22/2005 12:20 PM, Blogger Guru said...

I, of course, abstained from all donuts ;-)

But, I have to walk FOREVER just from where I am required to park, so walking is a big part of my day, always around lunch, too, so that helps.

At 6/22/2005 1:23 PM, Blogger Princess21 said...

mmmmmmm... Timbits!! Can walk back by and grab me a few?

At 6/22/2005 2:14 PM, Blogger Guru said...

They were gone 20 mins after I brought them in.

Like vultures here, they are.

At 6/23/2005 7:38 PM, Blogger steve said...

I must know what a Timbit is!?!?

At 6/23/2005 9:08 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Steve, you are missing out. Perhaps they don't have Tim Horton's in your part of the country?

A Timbit is a donut hole.

Here is a link to the official Tim Horton's description from their menu.


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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Playing Catch

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I had promised my daughters that I would go outside and throw a baseball with them last night as soon as I got home from work. I was probably looking forward to it as much as they were.

Well, I got home and got changed, collected the gloves and some balls and headed out back where they were playing. Some of the other neighborhood kids were out, too, and since I had enough gloves for them - they played too.

I always appreciated when my dad would play catch with me when I was small and it was a lot of fun to watch my girls get better even as the night went on. They didn't want to come in when it got dark.

I hope to really foster a love of sports with them because it teaches such great values like teamwork and how to win and lose graciously.

Last night also worked out in such a way that Lo was able to come out and throw with us some, as well. I don't think that I ever played catch with my mom, but I think it is so vital that Lo is as willing as she is to play sports with us.

Many times, sports is seen as a boys-only activity after a certain point. I appreciate the fact that Lo will play sports with the kids and show them that there is no time in their lives that they shouldn't be athletic.

Plus, keeping them in sports is a great way to keep them in shape and help them make friends. What could be better?


At 6/21/2005 11:09 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

Well, while I am by no means athletic, I agree that it is important for the girls to get involved in things like that.

I always asked my parents to let me play stuff like softball and soccer but I always got the same answer..."it costs too much money". I don't know if that was true, or if my mom ever really even looked into it or if that was just an excuse. So instead, I just came home after school and ate and got fat. I definitely do not want that for my kids. Even if it is expensive, I want to try to find a way to get them each involved in at least one or two activities.

At 6/22/2005 1:27 PM, Blogger Princess21 said...

These kinds of things are good for kids. I never played sports for the same reason that Lo mentioned. And now if you were to through a ball at me I would so get hit. Not in the face though, I'd have that covered!


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Monday, June 20, 2005

Big Shot Bob

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For those of you who are unitiated (Jemmers for one :-) ) that is a picture of a clutch. And clutch is exactly what Robert Horry is.

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I know that for someone who claims not to be an NBA fan that I've made a lot of NBA posts recently. The truth is that I do take sides in the series' and I like assorted players, but I CANNOT watch a game. Especially the pro game, where the players are so sloppy.

But one thing that I love about all sports is when an athlete steps up in big situations to produce for their team. And Robert Horry has a reputation for nailing game winning threes. He has won 5 championship rings for 2 different teams and is on his way to with his 6th with a third team.

Last night, with 6 seconds left in overtime, Big Shot Bob nailed a three pointer to give the Spurs the game, putting them up 3 games to 2 in a best of seven series.

Some haters have complained that Horry doesn't play well the rest of the time and really has no pressure since he isn't the star of any team that he has played on. But, the General Managers of teams know what they want when they get him. They know that they have a marginal role player during the season and during the playoffs, but a guy who has ice in his veins and will always take the game winning shot (and usually make it).

Some of the Hall of Fame talk today on Talk Radio is a bit extreme, but if I need 3 points to win a game, Horry is one of the top people that I want taking the shot, I have no doubt about that.


At 6/21/2005 11:01 AM, Blogger Princess21 said...

Oohhhh! I almost learned something! :)

At 6/21/2005 3:17 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Hopefully you know I was just messing with you based on your Vroom post and didn't mean any hard feelings.

Just kidding cuz I care!

At 6/22/2005 11:00 AM, Blogger Princess21 said...

Oh gosh! I totally got it! Thanks for caring!!! I am glad I could add some sparkle to your post! :)

At 6/22/2005 11:23 AM, Blogger Guru said...

You're welcome. I need all the sparkle that I can get.


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A Little Strange

I saw this and thought that it was a little strange, but perhaps offers something to think about.

Women are definitely treated more harshly in the court of public opinion when they make big mess-ups.

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Sunday, June 19, 2005


Well, I made out like a bandit this year. My family must really like me :-) I had some input in to my "big" gift this year (as I picked it out and ordered it online). But, my wife still managed to surprise me with it.

I wasn't sure when it would arrive, as the free shipping window was a little vague. It should have been here by Saturday, however, but it didn't arrive. I had asked Lo to let me know when it got here, but she didn't. Instead, it arrived and she hid it from me, surprising me with a wrapped present out of nowhere. So, big ups to Lo for still being able to surprise me with a gift that I knew was coming.

I've wanted a portable MP3 player for a long time, but iPods were just too expensive for my blood. Enter the Dell DJ. My boss has one and raved about it. He let me borrow it one day at work and I was very impressed. It did everything that I needed it to and more.

Since I've had it here, I dumped a bunch of music on and it automatically gets the artist and album from the file information and now I can easily view my music by artist, album, or genre. I'm very happy.

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The only thing lacking was the headphones. I hate earbuds, so enter my kids' gift to me. Some very nice Sony wraparound headphones, similar to the ones that Chad had gotten for himself at work that I was pretty impressed with.

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Just as with Lo's Mother's Day present, this was a combination Christmas and Father's Day present. She and I didn't exchange any gifts at Christmas because we just didn't have the $$$. So, it is nice that we each finally got to have something nice.

I also got a Best Buy gift card from my father-in-law (I know, I'm not his father, but he wanted to honor me for being such a good father to his Grandkids - and I appreciate it and thanked him) and an etched glass decorative piece from my mom (similar motives as my FIL).

We ended up getting my FIL a nice scale that he hinted to my wife (not so subtly) that he wanted and then taking him out and buying his dinner. We had a very nice time and the kids just love spending time with their Papaw.

I hope that all of you fathers out there had a great day as well.


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Happy Father's Day

This just isn't right, but I think that it is very funny and very clever advertising. I actually found it on 1/29/05, but have been holding it for today on my desktop (so that I don't forget about it). Now I can finally delete it.

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Happy Father's Day!


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Saturday, June 18, 2005

Movie Review: Bridget Jones part II

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I'll admit right off the bat that perhaps I don't get it. Maybe I am not the target audience for the movie. But, I also know this. I really liked the first one. I thought that so many parts of it were very funny and I was willing to ignore the critics to check this one out.

Sadly, this one - like so many other sequels - is a cheap imitation of the first. The plotline is almost non-existent and the chief end of the movie seems to be to get us to the next rip off of a gag from the first.

For instance, Bridget is happily with Mark, but we need them apart, so large panty jokes can be again made by Daniel. Therefore, Bridget breaks up with Mark for an almost ludicrous reason and then ends up out on assignment with Daniel.

Next, we have to recreate the "manly" fight between Mark and Daniel, right? So, they invent some stupid reasons for them to get together and they perform a poor imitation of their original fight.

Which is of course fitting, as this is a poor imitation of the first movie.

I'd be curious to know who out there might have liked the movie, and why.


At 6/21/2005 2:33 PM, Blogger Princess21 said...

I did not care for this one as much. The first movie was great!!! This, not so much!

At 6/21/2005 3:18 PM, Blogger Guru said...

I agree.

"This, not so much" pretty much sums up the movie.


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Friday, June 17, 2005

Hard Work

It is hard work being a baby. Eating especially takes it out of you.

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At 6/17/2005 3:33 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Who's cute?!

At 6/19/2005 1:47 PM, Blogger A Woman From Illinois said...



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Thursday, June 16, 2005

Smoking Commercial

I don't know if any of you have seen that smoking commercial with the girl who says she does a fake cough to let smokers know that she doesn't like their smoking. Look, I hate smoking, I've blogged about it before, but the fake cough annoys EVERYONE!

But, the funniest part is at the end of the commercial when they post a graphic that says something to the effect of "Smoking sections in restaurants make as much sense as peeing sections in pools."

That cracks me up, though. So true. It all gets mixed together. No restaurant should have a smoking section, but I do think that bars should be allowed to have smoking. If a place gets like 70% of its revenue from alcohol, smoking should be allowed. Any less, no smoking. That's just good sense.


At 6/16/2005 11:15 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

I agree 100%...and I love that graphic as well! Good point!

At 6/17/2005 10:37 AM, Blogger Princess21 said...

I love that comercail!!! Funny stuff but so true!

No smoking would be awesome!!!

At 6/18/2005 10:22 AM, Blogger ghraper said...

Funny comparison... My pool gets 100% of it's revenue from pee-ers, but I still don't think it should be allowed.


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Wednesday, June 15, 2005


It is days like today that make me realize why it is that I do what I do (computer programming for the uninitiated). I had discovered a serious security flaw with something that my predecessor had created and was charged with solving it.

I have been working, reading, and researching all week trying to solve this problem (which it turns out that many people have encountered and abandoned because of its complexity).

Well - as you may guess by the fact that I am writing about this now - I made a huge breakthrough today. I am working on converting and creating a partial solution that I found, but the fact that I was able to see the potential in this solution and that I am bending it to my task at hand makes me feel great. All of the last few days now feel like they are worth it.

If only I could have a crowd handy to erupt like they had just witnessed a World Series winning home run, that would make my day complete.


At 6/15/2005 1:13 PM, Blogger Princess21 said...

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Applause!!! Applause!! AAAHHHHHH!!

At 6/15/2005 2:29 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Well, thanks for that. It's like I'm at Ohio Stadium and I just scored a TD against Michigan.

At 6/15/2005 3:45 PM, Blogger Princess21 said...

That is exactly what I was going for!!!

At 6/15/2005 4:10 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Great! Spanks.

At 6/15/2005 9:33 PM, Blogger EuroYank said...

are you really adopted?

At 6/15/2005 9:37 PM, Blogger Guru said...

I don't even know where that came from.


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Tuesday, June 14, 2005


This word, almost more than any other, defines someone in my family.


malaprop: A wrong word that renders an utterance ridiculous. Usually the mistake occurs when the speaker affects a vocabulary much beyond his or her learning. Example: "A man his age is very likely to experience difficulty with his prostitute gland."


malapropism: The unintentional misuse of a word by confusion with one that sounds similar.

For the people who know me and mine, does that sound familiar? I might need to work that in to a nickname for him somehow.


At 6/14/2005 11:30 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Just don't be mean.

At 6/15/2005 9:09 AM, Blogger Guru said...

I was kidding about the nickname.

If I haven't been mean about his malapropisms yet, why would I start now?

I'm a little more respectful of my elders than that :-)


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Jackson Cleared

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I was listening to talk radio yesterday (as usual), when I heard that the Michael Jackson verdict was going to come in at 4:30 pm. I hit at 4:30 and hit refresh like every 30 seconds trying to find out what was going on. Finally, well after 5pm the verdict came back the Jackson was cleared of all 10 charges.

I don't know how you guys feel - and I admittedly take celebs at their word - but I truly believe that Mike doesn't molest kids. He does act in a way that most adults do not, but he just acts like a kid.

I find it too damning to the accuser that their witnesses said that Macaulay Culkin was molested and that they told Chris Tucker's baby's momma that they were being held hostage, but Culkin and Tucker's baby's momma took the stand and denied that.

I just hope that Mike takes his freedom and handles it well. He needs to realize that he isn't the superstar that he once was and that he needs to stop spending like he is.

Perhaps he needs to make a new CD and then hit foreign shores to make his $$$. He could then sell all of his property and buy a modest house somewhere with one housekeeper and a personal assistant and just stay out of the spotlight and away from the moochers.

He could also hook up with any of the mega-producers who still admire him and put out a good hit record in the US. His song that Jay-Z remixed off of his last album was hot. Do THAT again, Mike!

The sad thing is that none of that will never happen. He will probably still live in the 80's in his head and end up mega broke. It's sad.


At 6/15/2005 9:37 PM, Blogger A Woman From Illinois said...

I also do not feel he was guilty. They were after money!!!


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Saving a Bear

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.

"Wellll," he says, in a fine Irish brouge, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."

They both look down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! You don't know what tough is until you try to circumcise one of those creatures."


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Monday, June 13, 2005

Club Libby Lu

As I mentioned in a previous post today, the girls, Lo, and I went to Club Libby Lu yesterday as a birthday activity for my oldest. Club Libby Lu is a place where girls go dress up and get glam makeovers and can dance and do all sorts of things. There is a stream of constant dance music and lots and lots of "fairy dust". As soon as you walk in, the lady at the door tells the kids to close their eyes and make a wish and she sprinkles "fairy dust" over their heads.

We bought a package deal for each of the girls that let them dress up, get hair and makeup done, get a backpack with their selection of five items from a section of the store and also make their own "potion". My wife would have rather had them make their own perfume, shampoo, lotion, etc, but the girls decided to make their own fairy dust. It was a little bit of a waste, but if that's what they wanted - it was their fun time.

Here are some pics of the day's events.

Hair and Nails
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Final Presentation
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I didn't get a good shot of what their 'do looked like. Perhaps Lo did on her camera. I'll post it here if she did.

The girls also got to keep the wand and crown shown in the final pictures. The crown is not the cheap plastic thing that comes from the dollar store. It is made out of metal and is actually quite sturdy and has some heft to it.

It was a little expensive (we won't do it every weekend), but I would recommend it for special occasions (like birthdays).


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Yesterday, after lunch at The Olive Garden, my family and I went to Easton mall for my oldest daughter's birthday celebration. We went to Club Libby Lu for girlie makeovers for my daughters (I'll blog about that later) and then we went to see Madagascar.

The girls had already seen the movie with their papaw a few weeks ago, but my oldest wanted to see it again, and there wasn't anything else there worth seeing, so in we went.

I'd say that the movie was pretty average. Don't say, "Well, Guru, you're not a kid!" Lookit. I love kids' stuff. I watch Disney Channel with my kids and I love Suite Life of Zack and Cody, That's So Raven, Even Stevens, Lizzie McGuire, Phil of the Future, and don't get me started about Kim Possible and all of the other cartoons that I like.

So, it is not as if I am a hater. This movie was well animated, but the story was just not good. The story was only secondary to the characters being silly and making some poop jokes. I did like the penguins, though.

Unless you have kids who really want to see this, don't see it. It is not Aladdin, Toy Story, Mulan, or any other great animated movie. This is just a movie for the sake of moneymaking. Don't support it if you can help it.


At 6/13/2005 10:19 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

I too thought the movie was so-so. The boy didn't even really enjoy it and was scared at a few parts. I would give the movie a C-.

At 6/13/2005 10:36 AM, Blogger a mom said...

glad to know. i'll wait til it comes out on DVD or On Demand to let the kids watch it.


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Color Quiz

Puttin' up my results from Trin's Color Quiz

you are greenyellow

Your dominant hues are green and yellow. There's no doubt about the fact that you think with your head, but you don't want to be seen as boring and want people to know about your adventurous streak now and again.

Your saturation level is higher than average - You know what you want, but sometimes know not to tell everyone. You value accomplishments and know you can get the job done, so don't be afraid to run out and make things happen.

Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.
the html color quiz


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Sunday, June 12, 2005

The Longest Yard 2K5 Version

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Friday night, after we saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith, we made it a double feature by catching the remake of The Longest Yard.

It was a pretty good movie, but I don't feel like I need to go out and buy it when it comes out on DVD, let alone feel like even seeing it again. I pretty much got ruined by having seen the original movie 3 or 4 times.

The original is considered one of the classic football movies of all time and one of Burt Reynolds' best, but this one isn't even in Adam Sandler's top 5. If you get the opportunity to see this for free and have lots of time to kill, go ahead and check it out.

The writing is so-so and predictible and the acting doesn't bail it out. The football sequences are pretty good and Adam Sandler is definitely passable as an athlete. The cameos start to get old after awhile and pretty soon you are just going, oh - another wrestler/former football player/person from the original. They even don't do a great job of copying themselves.

If you have a life and a better movie option, I say take what is behind curtain number 2.

Anyone out there see it? What did you think? Are you an Adam Sandler fan? Do you think that that affected your enjoyment of the movie?


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Saturday, June 11, 2005

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

I went to go see Mr. and Mrs. Smith last night. As my loyal readers know, I've been waiting to see this since December. (Check out this post.)

Let me get this out of the way first. They could not have picked two better looking actors to play the leads in this movie. Angelina looked amazing and Brad Pitt definitely had the ladies gettin' the warmies. One frat boy who was sitting to my right muttered "She's so fu*kin' hot" when Angelina was first on screen. And, indeed she was. She and Brad Pitt would probably make some good looking babies.

The movie was very, very funny. I thought maybe it would be a good action movie with a decent story and all of the funny lines were in the trailer. I could not have been more wrong. The movie is VERY funny with a great story and the action doesn't really get going until halfway through the movie.

The characters all had great chemistry and the two hours just flying by. There is also a tribute to one of the characters other movies in the film, but I won't tell you what it is to see if you notice it as well.

Some trivia about the movie

  • Nicole Kidman was originally cast as Mrs. Smith
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones was also considered for Mrs. Smith, while Johnny Depp and Will Smith were considered for Mr. Smith when it was not sure if Brad Pitt would sign on.
  • Brad Pitt reportedly left the project after Nicole Kidman dropped out and her replacement had not yet been found. Once Angelina Jolie signed on, he returned to the project.

FWIW, Nicole Kidman could not have done this like Angelina. At the end of the movie, the crowd simultaneously applauded the film. It is a great movie, I highly recommend it, and I will buy it for 1000% sure when it comes out on DVD.

Go see it.
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At 6/12/2005 7:38 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Def a great movie! While I was watching it, I couldn't help but think of the movie True Lies...which has lying to the spouse, tons of action, sexy dancing, and great lines just as the Smith's does.

At 6/12/2005 10:55 PM, Blogger Guru said...

True Lies def was a great movie. About time someone copied their formula well.

I just wish Vince Vaughn could have been the comedy sidekick powerhouse of love that Tom Arnold was!


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Friday, June 10, 2005


Well, I got my Calc final grade back. I scored 123 points on the final, which is quite a bit above the final median of 87 for the exam.

Some tidbits for your consumption.

  • High Score - 198 (NERD!!!)
  • Low Score - 5 (DUMBA$$)
  • Median - 87
  • Standard Deviation - 35.48
  • My Score - 123 (Just above the standard deviation from the median :-) )

So, my calculations were correct and I ended up with a C+, just 2.5% points from my coveted B. If I would have done even one extra credit project, I would have gotten my B. Live and Learn.

I also finished my 7 page paper for Women's Studies yesterday and dropped it off. I don't know how long it will be until I get the results back, but I will of course keep my loyal readers up to speed.

I've got the summer off now and I couldn't be more excited. I've got Poly Sci 100 and Math 153 lined up for the fall, so I will need the rest :-P


At 6/10/2005 1:56 PM, Blogger The Great and Powerful Oz said...

way to go....ya big nerd....good going for shizzle!!!!
I'll say it once again....I have no idea how you do what you do!!!!


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Thursday, June 09, 2005

Couple of Things

First of all, Darth Vader is psychic. Check it out.
(ps I love Burger King making cool sites like this one and the subservient chicken as extra promotions for their products)

Second of all, this keychain is both so right and so wrong all at the same time.
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Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Math 152 Final

Well, I took my final last night for Calculus class. It was mad crazy brutal. It was standard Calc Final format: 11 questions; 200 points; 2 hours. No problem there.

The problem was the announcement that up to that point the average grade for the final was 89. No, not 89%, 89 out of 200 - 44.5% ! I definitely see how that happened, the test was very difficult and required some different applications of skills that we acquired during the course. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying.

I went to the review session Sunday evening and it was PACKED. They had warned that it might be crowded, but the room was full, the aisles were full, the floors were full and the doorway was full. People had to be turned away. The scheduled two hour lecture went three hours, so I feel like I was solid on my fundamentals.

I am just nervous now hearing how everyone else did on the test. It is one-third of our grade and it will affect me pretty greatly. For instance, if I get less than an 80 on the final, I will have to repeat the course. If I get between an 80 and 137, I get a C. If I get over a 138, I will get a B. No pressure or anything, and that is only if I have figured my grade correctly.

I will definitely work harder for my next math course not to be in this position. I could have been in a better spot if I had done the three extra credit projects, but I didn't have the time. Next time, I will MAKE the time.


At 6/08/2005 2:45 PM, Blogger Princess21 said...

I am sure you did well. I have read most of your posts and you seem to be pretty smart!

At 6/09/2005 12:32 PM, Blogger The Great and Powerful Oz said...

One "might" even say....a Braniac!!!!


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Diet Rite and Nerds

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My middle daughter was drinking Red Raspberry Diet Rite last night (for the first time, I believe). All of a sudden, out of the blue, she says, "When I breathe, it tastes like nerds."

She is such a funny kid.


At 6/08/2005 11:14 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Man, I haven't had a Diet Rite in a long time. It was the only kind of pop we drank while growing up.

At 6/08/2005 2:52 PM, Blogger Princess21 said...

She is too cute!! My husband always says that you taste 10% of what you smell! :)

At 6/08/2005 3:45 PM, Blogger Farce Observation said...

I find that quite amusing.


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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Phone Solitaire

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I have really been enjoying my Jamdat Solitaire on my phone. (Screenshot shown above.) Whenever I am bored, I can just whip out my phone and play some solitaire. It has helped me pass much time between classes at school and other times that I might be stuck sitting somewhere for a long period of time ;-). Now if I could just get the old bowling on this phone, I would be set. All I have available is Super Bowling and it is no where near as good.

I'm off to my Calc Final. I hope I do well. It all makes sense when the guy is explaining it, but sometimes I'm not sure what they are asking on the tests because they try to be tricky.


At 6/07/2005 10:04 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Take luck! You'll get an A on it, I'm sure!


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Monday, June 06, 2005


I wrote before about how big of a Shaq fan that I am. I've been meaning to write about his latest gesture earlier last week, but had not quite gotten around to it.

George Mikan was an NBA great from the 40's and 50's and was called "The First Great Big Man in the NBA". As Shaq is the modern day "Great Big Man" and a great respecter of those who have gone before him, he reached out to the Mikan family in their time of need.

Shaq said, "We had a lot of personal conversations and he was always very nice to me. I heard he was having problems. If his family contacts me, I would like to pay for the whole funeral and I would like to take care of them."

How great is that? It is, of course, not a big chink in his bank account, but do other people do that? You just don't see things like that every day.

George Mikan had serious health problems before he passed away and had to sell much of his prized personal memorabilia to pay for his expenses. His family had almost no money for any kind of proper funeral service.

Enter Shaq offering to take care of everything with the funeral, an offer which the Mikan family graciously accepted. Shaq is truly one of the classiest players in the NBA and a man worthy of respect.


At 6/06/2005 11:50 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

That and he's so cute! I love those NBA/Law and Order commericals! Very funny!


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Paperless Toilet

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Who here thinks that they might try going on front-ways? ;-)


At 6/07/2005 12:19 AM, Blogger The Great and Powerful Oz said...

Too funny.....

At 6/08/2005 2:51 PM, Blogger Princess21 said...

Oh my! That is funny!!

At 6/08/2005 3:38 PM, Blogger a mom said...

that's a riot! i love it... i'm all in for front wards


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Sunday, June 05, 2005


1. The total volume of music files on my computer is...2112 files, over 3 gigs - give or take, it is always changing and I just searched for mp3s and wmas.

2. The last CD that I bought was...The Thesis by The Ambassador (I have a review coming as soon as I get my lazy behind to do it.)

3. The song playing right now is...Crown Him - The Ambassador (Though I admit I just played it to answer this question, because 'silence' is a bad answer.)

4. Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:

  • Too Close - Blue. For the craziest reasons, this song means something to my wife and I.
  • Mighty Fortress is our God - Pick an Artist. This is my favorite hymn of all time. My favorite version might be the version on the Promise Keepers CD, performed by the Maranatha Praise Band.
  • Puttin' on the Ritz - Taco. This song reminds me a lot of being a little kid. It was my favorite song for a long time until. . .
  • Invisible Touch - Genesis . . . this song became my favorite song in like 1986 or 1987. I would have answered this as my favorite song until around 1990.
  • Thesis Pieces or The Anthem - The Ambassador. I am just really feelin' these songs right now.

The only person left to tag that I know is AWFI, so if you read this - you're it babe.


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Saturday, June 04, 2005

Movie Contest, Won It I Have

Trinity and I entered a contest on Yoda's blog and we won!

As a prize, I got an autographed picture of Master Yoda himself. Pretty awesome, huh?

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Hopefully, Trin will post her pic, so that we can see what pearls of wisdom he inscribed to her on her picture. I, of course, am told to "Keep on Truckin'".

Keep on Truckin', indeed.


At 6/04/2005 11:06 PM, Blogger ghraper said...

Shouldn't that be, "Truckin' keep on"?


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Name: Pete
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