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Memoirs of a Lunatic

The title almost says it all. I'm a little insane, like all folks, and I'm just putting down what I think about. Maybe some of it is funny, maybe some of it isn't. Just come read and find out for yourself.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Anyone Ever Feel Like This?

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At 12/04/2005 5:29 PM, Blogger nicole said...

HAHAHA!!! This is perfect.

My last three weeks of work have felt like this...


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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Almost There

I only have one more week of class before finals, which to me actually means only one more class. I have to go Thursday to a few review sessions and then next Tuesday is the day. I can't wait for finals to be over. Winter break cannot come soon enough.

There might be some exciting changes coming up for my schooling soon, so you'll have to stay tuned to find out all of the details!

Actually, you probably don't really care, but I like to write like you are all riveted :-)


At 12/03/2005 12:39 AM, Blogger Kristi said...

Are you a student at OSU?

I remember how late fall quarter would end.

Those were the days!

Good luck with finals.

At 12/03/2005 5:25 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Yep. I am a student at THE Ohio State University. Of course, a non-traditional, 28 year old one, but that doesn't matter much - or does it?

I'm transferring for Winter quarter because OSU doesn't offer any courses in my major (CIS) in the evening, so I cannot finish my degree there.


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Monday, November 28, 2005

That's My Boy

I saw this comic in Thursday's paper and had to laugh. This is exactly how he is.

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He'll put anything he finds on the floor in his mouth, but is fairly picky when it comes time for a meal. Oh, well. I love him anyway :-)


At 11/28/2005 3:27 PM, Blogger Kristi said...

Isn't that the truth??? Just started feeding Aveline solids in the last month.

Case in point, right now she is eating the sock she just yanked from her foot. What a weird girl!

At 11/29/2005 3:53 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

Yep, just like him!


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Sunday, November 27, 2005

More Christmas Laughs

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From Sahil Malik's Blog


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It's Christmas Season

Check out these people's holiday spirit!

Go here to go to the download page. Then, scroll down and click the free button at the bottom.


At 11/29/2005 6:28 PM, Blogger A Woman From Illinois said...

They have a hell of a lot more spirit than I.


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Saturday, November 26, 2005

Chuck Norris

I've always been a Chuck Norris fan, so when I came across this link, I had to share some of them with you (go to the link to read the full list).

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris
can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris' girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f*ck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.


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Friday, November 25, 2005

Full Day

Well, we accomplished most of our goals for today. I'll tell you what, though, I am worn out.

I got up a little after 4am to go to Best Buy for their 5am opening. G was already there with our place in line when I got there and so we waited ... in the freezing cold. But, we got in and separated to get our goods. The Best Buy trip was purely selfish for me and I picked up a 17" LCD Flat Panel Monitor for $149 (after rebates) and some replacement wireless network gear for $15.00 (after rebates).

Then I went home and tagged my wife, who took off for her shopping. She hit K-Mart, Target, Wal-Mart, and OfficeMax, picking up presents for a bunch of people and another goodie for us (I'll probably blog about all of our goodies later).

After that, we got our Christmas stuff upstairs and set up the tree, but saved the decorations for tonight. Then it was off to get the kids' holiday pictures taken and out to eat a festive Olive Garden dinner.

We got back, decorated the tree, cleaned up, watched our shows (Numb3rs and Ghost Whisperer), and now ... here I am. Tired, but satisfied that we got a lot done on the day!


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Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Turkey Day

Hope you all had a good time with your families and all ate well. Our meal this year was one of the better ones that I've had. The bird was prepared by my wife's aunt, who did a good job. The mashed potatoes were good and so was the corn crap that my wife brought, and the rolls. I'm sure my wife would say the broccoli casserole and things were good, but I don't eat that, so that will have to be where it ends.

I have to get to bed because I am going to try (for the first time ever) to do some early-bird Black Friday shopping tomorrow. Wish me luck!


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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Four Day Weekend

Yea! I don't have to report back to work until Monday, I have four days off. But, getting home to get my weekend started was a piece of work, I'll tell you that.

There were accidents galore all over the city, but none of them were on my route home. But, it still took well over an hour and a half to get home. Freaking idiot drivers.

There is a little snowfall on the ground, but most of it was turned to just wetness from being driven on. The road wasn't icy and in fact there were even dry spots on the pavement. But I still had to sit in 15 mile long bumper to bumper traffic. Can you say "Rooooad Raaaaage"?

But I am home now and ready to enjoy the weekend as much as is possible. After it is over, I only have one more week of classes before finals. Then, I am off of school for a month! Woo-hoo! I still have to work, but doing both does wear on a brotha.

That's it for now. Turkey Day tomorrow, shopping Friday, moving G and Trin Saturday, and church Sunday. Full plate... need to make sure to make time to relax!


At 11/24/2005 9:25 AM, Blogger ukok said...

I share your sentiments about 'idiot drivers'!

God Bless.

At 11/24/2005 1:36 PM, Blogger Lolly said...

you should see the drivers in colorado you would think that no one ever took drivers ed here..anyway have a great turkey day


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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Things I Can Only Say On Thanksgiving...

... and not get slapped.

Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving

01. Talk about huge breasts!
02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
03. It's Cool Whip time!
04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
05. That's one terrific spread!
06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
07. Are you ready for seconds yet?
08. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!


At 11/23/2005 9:43 AM, Blogger ladydaria said...

As you know by my own blog, I adore this Thanksgiving post, lol. Thanks for the comments in my blog on my "Butt Shot". Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

At 11/23/2005 10:37 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Thanks Dariana. I couldn't remember where I had gotten that from. I copied it into notepad when I was blogsurfing, but didn't quote it. I didn't slight you on purpose :-)

At 11/23/2005 2:26 PM, Blogger DayByDay4-2Day said...

I've got to sent this out to my friends. Thanks and I hope you have a good turkey day!

At 11/24/2005 10:18 AM, Blogger A Woman From Illinois said...



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Monday, November 21, 2005

What a Game

Wow. Could Ohio State have tried any harder to give that game away? Michigan wasn't capable of beating us (more on that later), but we sure were ready to beat ourselves (2 turnovers, 1 missed PAT, 1 missed FG, injuries). But, it was such a great achievement to go up there and take out the "Team up North".

I've instituted a new feature in place of my countdown to the Goblet of Fire. I have a count-up, from the last time Michigan was able to beat us. As Buckeye fans may know, Jim Tressel is now 4-1 against Michigan and that is a far cry better than John Cooper's 2-10-1. (I made my own counter in the vein of the one over at
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Let me start with the player of the game. Troy Smith - who last year put up over 400 yards of offense - kept up his reputation as a Wolverine killer. He went 27/37 for a career best 300 yards with 1 TD and added a rushing TD, as well. He has grown as a player, even this year, and now uses his elusiveness to buy time in the pocket to be able to use his arm to make big plays. I can't wait until next year.

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Let me go next to Antonio Pittman. I've been high on this guy since last year and he has proved himself to be a premiere back of the Big Ten this year. In the game, he went 85 yards on 23 carries and scored the game winning TD. Last week, he went out injured against Northwestern, but he returned saying that he had to help the seniors win their last game in the Shoe. This week, he only stated that he wanted to again help the seniors beat Michigan one last time. There was no talk of self, only team. I appreciate this young man's demeanor so much and look forward to the remainder of his career.

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Ted Ginn was problematic for most of the game. He mishandled two punts, but he came up big on the final drive. He finished with 89 yards on 9 catches. I appreciate that he didn't let his mistakes take him out of his game.

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My other man. Anthony Gonzalez. A man that needs to get the ball more often. His play to get us down to the 4 on the final drive was magic. He caught 4 balls for 75 yards.

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Santonio Holmes. Still the man. He who was called on a BS play scoring a TD. He of the 72 yards on 6 catches with 1 TD. He who will seek NFL riches next year (don't go, Santonio!). He is a great player.

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And, of course, the "D". Only allowed Michigan 255 total yards (while we racked up 418!), including only 32 rushing yards on 24 tries. That won't get it done, U of M. Here is Nate Salley creaming a Michigan receiver.

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Also, as a note... in the first quarter, I noticed as the Buckeyes were leaving the field a man that looked like Eddie George. Just then, the announcers said, "Eddie George" and hey, it was him. Nice of Eddie to come out and fire the team up.

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Also, in the inspirational note, Bobby Carpenter - who was hurt on the first defensive play - encouraged his teammates and his replacement in true Buckeye fashion, again caring more about the team and the "W" more than his pain. Speaking of the "W", there is only one thing left to say...

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At 11/22/2005 12:23 AM, Blogger Barb said...


At 11/22/2005 7:04 AM, Blogger Guru said...


At 11/27/2005 8:34 PM, Blogger Kristi said...

Go Bucks!!!!


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Geek Slapstick

Here is some mathematicians having a little fun.

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It's a Pi fight! Get it?


At 11/21/2005 9:35 PM, Blogger DayByDay4-2Day said...

made me giggle!

At 11/22/2005 12:24 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Can't. See. The. Picture...Must. Find. Spock...He. Will. Help.

At 11/22/2005 12:40 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Thank you Spock.


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Sunday, November 20, 2005

HP: GOF Movie Review

Warning: Some movie spoilers below.

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As I stated here, I got to go see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Friday night with my wife. I'll start by saying that it is probably my favorite of the four movies so far, but I do have a few problems.

Before you roll you eyes and accuse me of being one of "those book fanatics" (which I freely admit I might be), I understand that a movie is not the book and has different constraints. But, the idea was floating around for years to break GOF into 2 different movies. I think that they probably should have done that, ala Matrix 2 and 3 and filmed them at the same time and released them around Thanksgiving and Easter. Only a bit more money to make and double the box office.

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I would suggest that they include more storyline and end part one right after the first task, right after Ron and Harry reconcile. Would have been a great breaking point. As it was, they didn't include the house elves, S.P.E.W., the fact that Madame Maxime is a giantess, Percy's fight with his parents and worship of Crouch, the fact that elder Crouch was under the imperious curse, more quidditch world cup, more Sirius (including meeting in Hogsmede), the fact that Rita Skeeter is an animagius, and other things that I can't think of now.

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Please understand that this is my favorite of the books and is so crucial to further plots that I'm worried how they are going to handle plot points in future books, since they didn't cover their roots in this movie. It makes me worry if those things will be left out, also.

That being said, to repeat, I liked the movie. It moved along at a very good pace and I thought that almost everyone did a good job acting. I thought that they covered up the cut out parts nicely with a couple of shifts and kept the story moving along with a good amount of action and some really funny humor. (I loved the part where Harry tries to smile at Cho and dribbles juice down his face!) I also liked the part when Ron had just acted like a fool around Fleur and he is mumbling about liking look at them from the back and other nonsense. It was great. (ps, the Beauxbatons girls' entrance was pretty nice and would be sure to get a few teenaged boys' attention).

What almost made me sick though, was Michael Gambon's portrayal of Dumbledore. Dude needs to get it straight. Dumbledore is not emotional. He does not run up to Harry after his name comes out of the goblet and yell at him. Dumbledore does not look afraid as the goblet does its thing. He does not get worried or excited or sad over every little thing. Dumbledore is always in control. That is why it is such a big deal in Book 4 when he bursts into Mad-Eye's office and lays the smack down on the fake Mad-Eye.

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What makes me angrier is the reasoning for the change in personality. In this interview, Michael Gambon reveals his "technique" for acting the part. Some quotes:

Are you kind of easing into the role a bit more now you have done one film as Dumbledore?
I just play him as myself, I don't ease myself into any role really. I stick a beard on and play me. Every part I play is just a variant of my own personality. No real character actor, of course, just me.

What makes Dumbledore the greatest wizard of all time?
I have no idea. I learn the lines that JK Rowling or whoever writes them, and say them.

Have you still not read any of the books?
Well, I don't see any point. I've got the scripts. People who have read the books get miserable because of all the bits that have been cut out. So I just read the script. That's the best way.

So, because he just "plays himself" with a beard on, we get this emotional hippie Dumbledore. Rediculous. I can't imagine how the end of Book 6 will play with this crappy actor in it!

The scare factor of this movie wasn't very high to me. In fact, I imagine that I will take my two girls (8 and almost 6) to see it in the theater pretty soon. HP2 was probably the scariest movie with the basilisk and the spiders. The graveyard and some of the other stuff in this movie is pretty tame by comparison. My children don't scare easily and when I try to gauge their fear factor during things we are watching together, they constantly remind me that what we are seeing isn't real and that the things are being played by actors. I wish I would have been that grounded about potentially scary things when I was their age.

So, even for all of my complaining, I understand what they had to do to get this opus in under three hours and I respect it. I enjoyed the story and the acting (except Dumbledore) and had a great time out with my wife, which is really what movie-going is about, right?


At 11/20/2005 7:11 PM, Blogger Moonchild said...

Being a huge Harry Potter fan myself (age 38!!) .... I forgot Cedric died!!! I know I know I know. I wasn't expecting the movie to be so sad when he did die. I wasn't expecting the movie to end so dreary and feel depressed afterwards either. And being a huge HP fan....of the books, first and foremost... I was gravely disappointed in the entire movie -- though don't get me wrong, I did like the movie a lot. But I did miss the whimsical feelings of movie #1 and I missed the whole Dobey the house elf story line too.

At 11/21/2005 12:35 PM, Blogger Robbie said...

I was super pissed at the portrayal of Dumbledore, and I sincerely hope they find a new actor for Order of the Phoenix.

At 11/21/2005 3:08 PM, Blogger Guru said...

On IMDB, they have only listed Harry, Hermione, and Ron for sure for that one, which is slated for 2007. I'm excited, because they were talking about switching the main characters because of their age.

I'm begging them to switch Dumbledores.

At 11/21/2005 4:25 PM, Anonymous lindsay said...

i really liked that movie......but i was disapointed because they left out some good parts like spew and rita skeeter the animagus and how hermionie found that out and put her in the little jar. but guru i have good news, i heard that they will include some of the 4th year stuff into the fith year movie.
its not definite but i heard it from a trusable source (at a harry potter fan club) that has a uncle that works for the movie set.
**just some thoughts from the peanut gallary!

At 11/21/2005 4:29 PM, Anonymous GEORGE PAULSON said...

i thought the movie sucked!!!! i dont like the new director and how he lets them dress in real clothes! the magic of hogwarts is about the robes and cape-y thing a-ma-bobs .



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Saturday, November 19, 2005

Initial Reactions to the Game

I will probably post my full reactions later, but I just wanted to get on here and say...


Troy Smith was awesome, Antonio Pittman was awesome, and Anthony Gonzales again showed why he just get at least 5 more balls a game thrown his way.

How clutch was this catch?
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I'm going to have a much nicer December than if the game had ended differently. It's not my fault, it's just how I roll!


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Friday, November 18, 2005


If you have been watching my HP4 countdown, you'll notice that it says
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How geeked am I? VERY.

I was going to have to wait until tomorrow to see it, but one of my wife's friends called and offered to babysit for us this morning at the last minute, so I'll be able to go on a date with my wife tonight to see it.

I can't wait to see it. HP4 is my favorite of the books and seeing it on the big screen is going to be awesome. The crummy part is that the book was so long that parts are going to have to be cut out. I've already read that they've cut out all subplots that aren't related to the Voldemort and Harry Showdown and the TriWizard Tourney.

I'm a little bummed that I've also read that Hermione has been reduced to a one dimensional character that spends the whole movie worrying about Harry. But, lets stay optimistic and also state that the broom scene with the dragons is supposed to be better than any quidditch match so far.

I've also read that this movie as a whole is actually less scary than HP2 (spiders and basilisk) or HP3 (werewolves and dementors), so I'm looking forward to going to see it again in the theater with my kids, too.

Happy Premiere Day!


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Thursday, November 17, 2005

One of the Best Homer Calls Ever

From Paul Keels, OSU broadcaster during last year's Ohio State - Michigan State game, calling a Ted Ginn, Jr. punt return.

"DOWN THE MIDDLE AND HE'S GONE!!!! Ted Ginn! He just ran through Michigan State like Mexican water through a first time tourist!"

Every time that I hear them play that back on the radio, I just laugh and laugh.

Go Bucks!


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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Sucks to be a Fan

Why can't my Pittsburgh Pirates make good moves? This story sums up their latest bonehead move, but I'll basically cover it here.

Let me start by introducing you to Mark Cuban. In the interest of full disclosure, I LOVE Mark Cuban. He is the billionaire owner of the Dallas Mavericks NBA team. He is a huge sports fan and made his money through founding He is famous for criticizing referees (to his wallet's detriment, he has been fined over a MILLION DOLLARS), and even saying that the head of the referee's couldn't run a Dairy Queen.

Well, a Dairy Queen owner called him out for using that metaphor, so Mark Cuban went and ran a Dairy Queen for a day, proving he can have fun. He takes care of his sports team, giving them luxury accommodations and paying salaries to get the best players.

Enter the Pirates. Mark Cuban (a Pittsburgh native) is interested in buying his hometown team. When I first heard that rumor, I was excited. My team might actually try to field a winner! But, no. The ownership group just wants to get buy with the status quo, not fielding a competitive team and hanging out in the division cellar.

The Pirates haven't had a winning season in thirteen years. They don't want to do what it takes to win. But here comes a guy who wants to take the team off of their hands and field a winner for the city of Pittsburgh and he is rebuffed.

Darn It!


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More OSU Michigan Week

I am begging you. Download this video. Even if you have dialup, click it to download and wait, it is waaaaay worth it.

My man Chad sent me this link and I after watching it, I am ready to suit up and HIT SOMEBODY!!!!

Go Bucks!

The Movie

Edit: I updated the link because the one that was up there exceeded its bandwidth


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Tuesday, November 15, 2005

In Honor of HP4

Who do you support?

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or Harry?
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My choice is on my sidebar.


At 11/20/2005 7:13 PM, Blogger Moonchild said...

Can you send me the HTML code for the Harry one? ???


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In Honor of the Greatest Rivalry

Backyard Bragging Rights



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Monday, November 14, 2005

Hour by Hour Breakdown

Trin did it, so will I!

12:00 Midnight: About the time that I normally hit the hay. Sometimes I get in bed before here, but I usually will watch t.v. or read until about this time.

1:00 am: T Plus One Hour of sleep. If I get on the computer any time close to bed, I am probably still up and surfing blogs instead of sleeping.

2:00 am: If I do go to sleep at midnight, this is pee break number one, sometime in this hour.

3:00 am: One hour to go until my next pee break.

4:00 am: Pee break number two. Ever since my recent kidney stone, the tons of extra liquid that I drink keep me active.

5:00 am: One hour to go until my next pee break.

6:00 am: Alarm goes off in here. I pee again. Usually go back to sleep for a bit. My son wakes up between now and 7:15, so I get him up and move him in to see mommy. Up again well before seven to get some computer time.

7:00 am: Get the girls up, feed them, get them started toward getting ready for school. Take a shower and all that stuff for me to get ready.

8:00 am: My son finishes helping me get ready for work. Leave for work, girls out the door for school.

9:00 am: At work by this time. How long depends on the day and my meeting schedule.

10:00 am: Still working. Probably well into some piece of code by now.

11:00 am: Still working. Either listening to one of the six Harry Potter books on cd (over and over again), or a comedy cd.

12:00 noon: Almost lunch time. I start clock watching.

1:00 pm: I go to lunch around 1:20 and take an hour. I like to go eat and either sit in my car and listen to sports talk radio or sit inside the restaurant and do a crossword puzzle.

2:00 pm: 2:20 get back to work and get a killer parking spot close to the building because the early arrivers leave a little after 2pm.

3:00 pm: During this hour (an hour after eating), duty calls :-)

4:00 pm: Clock watching again. Will my day end? Download the Chris Spielman show from and listen to it.

5:00 pm: Usually leave during this hour. On Tues and Thurs, I have school at OSU at 5:30

6:00 pm: Mon, Wed and Fri, I am at home in this hour. Tues and Thurs, still in Political Science.

7:00 pm: On those school nights, I head for Math 153 this hour. On Mondays, this is the time band practice starts.

8:00 pm: Not too much great on TV at this time anymore.

9:00 pm: I leave school early to be home in time to watch House at 9pm on Tuesdays. (Though not tomorrow... exams!) On Monday's, band practice is over.

10:00 pm: Kids should be all in bed and I am reading, surfing the web, or standing over Lo's shoulder talking to her while she is.

11:00 pm: Time to get ready and head off to bed. Not sleepy time yet, but time for relaxation should begin during this hour.


At 12/04/2005 5:26 PM, Blogger nicole said...

OMG, this sounds arduous. Especially with the frequent pee breaks. But I can totally identify with you on those as my bladder is about the size of a seedless grape. :-\


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Sunday, November 13, 2005


Oh, my goodness, Desperate Housewives is getting crazy.

My concerns, comments, and questions:
- Did Gabrielle lose her baby when falling down the stairs? What is up with Caleb and his ice cream?

- Could George be any more insane? Bree is going to have to go through some CRAP to get rid of him? Will she get a murder investigation pointed at her again?

- Who else thought that that porn couple were hilarious? Would you continue to let your kids go over there? I didn't think they were that odd...

- I wonder if they are going to make Mike interesting again? They need to have him out of the storyline for awhile. I'm sick of Susan and I'm sick of him.

That's all for now. Anyone out there watch tonight? What did you think?


At 11/14/2005 2:42 PM, Anonymous imamber said...

I loooove Desperate Housewives.

I heard the actor who plays Caleb was fired for exposing himself to the cast!

In other news, I got my xbox 360 already! Hate me!

At 11/14/2005 9:37 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Amber is the luckiest girl ever. Not only did she win the xbox 360, she also won an iPod and some shopping sprees (detailed in the iPod link).

I wish some of her luck would rub off on me!


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Saturday, November 12, 2005

Top Nine Things I Would Love to Say at Work

"Borrowed" from bobbi jo online

9. If I throw a stick will you leave?

8. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

7. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

6. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.

5. And your cry-baby, whiny-butt, opinion would be?

4. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

3. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

2. Do I look like a peoples person?

1. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.


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Friday, November 11, 2005


I am so tired right now. Usually I am still going pretty strong right now, especially on a Friday, but not today.

I got up at pretty much the normal time and got the kids on their way. Then, at about quarter till 9, a guy from the band called and asked if I'd help him get some drywall from Lowe's. I was up for anything that would add manpoints for the day, so I agreed.

We got a total of 18 sheets of drywall and got them all into his basement. Tell you what... that was not an easy task. I mean, they are moderately heavy (especially when carried two at a time), but the angles and obstacles that we had to maneuver to get them into the basement wore us both out.

Then, my wife's grandparents took us to Hometown Buffet and after we did some needed shopping. Back home to get my oldest from school and then back out to run some more, ultimately getting her to her sleepover tonight.

Then we got home for some TV. I made it through my show but then went and laid down with my second daughter to put her to bed. Caught an hour of sleep there :-) Then, my wife called me up to watch Numb3rs, but I saw about 2 minutes of that before I fell asleep again.

Drifting in and out (like this post... I am still half asleep), I finally got up now to go to bed, stopping to make this post on the way. I can hardly keep my eyes open, so I'll bid you good night now. Good night.


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Thursday, November 10, 2005

Long Weekend, Baby

Well, I was worried that it wouldn't be, but Praise the Lord, it is.

The consulting company that I work for gives holidays to its employees that work in-house and those are the ones that are in our employee handbook. Well, Veteran's Day isn't one of them.

Since I am deployed at a state run university, work is out here tomorrow, so I thought that I would have to go in to the corporate office and do stupid grunt work for the day tomorrow. But, no! I found a line that states that as a salaried employee of the company, I am paid for any holidays that the company that I am deployed at recognizes, so that means a three day weekend for me.

And... since both the university and my company give two days off for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I'll have four day weekends for both of those holidays. Yahoo!


Tonight will be a bit busy. I have to miss school and go run sound for the church's praise band practice since I am running sound for this Sunday's service. I am hoping for a nice easy evening on my nerves and that I can just let foolishness roll off of my back like water off of a duck's butt. We'll see.



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Quote of the Day

I like this.

"As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it." - Albert Einstein


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Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Fun With Stats

Some interesting things that people have searched for and ended up at my site:

i hate florida state
dilbert buck passer
i discovered a hole in our internet security
mandy moore gets punk'd
stereotypes are a real time-saver
aidana blog
padme wallpaper
slimed game lab
pictures of teddy ginn jr.
deuce or rudi?
memoirs of college

As a fun note... if any of you performed any of those searches, I think it would be cool to hear your story.


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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

A Peek Into My Warped Mind

While sitting in meetings listening to people talking about "punching a hole" in a firewall, I almost always come close to losing it.

Why, you may ask, do I get the giggles over opening a port on a firewall?

Well, it isn't because I view computer security as a laughing matter. It is because all I can think about when they say it is the Punch a Bunch pricing game on the Price is Right.

Punch a Bunch

What is wrong with me?


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Monday, November 07, 2005

Gettin Scrizewed

"I love me some me," - Terrell Owens
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Well, if I was a psychic genius at Fantasy Baseball, I'm looking like Miss Cleo now with my Fantasy Football team.

On a good note, Carson Palmer and the Steeler defense are scoring me mad points. Heath Miller (TE, Pittsburgh) is a scoring machine, as well.

But, I lost Deuce McAllister for the season to injury and now I've lost Terrell Owens for the season to his big mouth. It isn't as bad as it could have been, however.

The first few people that you take actually can't be cut from your team. But, because of his training camp issues, T.O. fell low enough that I picked him up as a bargain and can now cut him loose.

The problem is finding that waiver wire gem to replace him at WR. Time to go read a couple of fantasy sports magazines and sift the waiver wire.



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Sunday, November 06, 2005

Thank God For Defense

Wow. The Steelers pulled out a close one today. One look at the score (20-10) might not give you that impression, but believe me it was close.

Let me give you some stats. Total yards: Green Bay-268, Pittsburgh-213. Time of Possession: Green Bay-33:08, Pittsburgh-26:52. Third down efficiency: Green Bay-8 of 17, Pittsburgh-0 of 8. That's right. We didn't convert ONE THIRD DOWN!!!

We got almost all of our points off of turnovers. 17 of our 20 points were off of their miscues, including the 7 from Troy Polamalu's fumble recovery for a TD.

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Thank goodness that our D held at opportune times. That game was crazy to watch. Duce Staley had his first action of the season and was the featured back, especially when Fast Willie Parker left with an injury. Duce had 76 yards on 15 carries, a 5.1 ypc average, and a TD.

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While Charlie Batch didn't lose us the game, he certainly didn't win it for us. He was 9/16 for 65 yards with 0 TDs and 1 INT.

I hope that Roethlisberger comes back next week because I can't take another week of playing like that!


At 11/08/2005 1:51 PM, Blogger Nick said...



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Saturday, November 05, 2005

In Honor of Episode III on DVD

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Once, when British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli was addressing the House of Lords, a member interrupted him and shouted, "You, sir, are either mad or diseased!" Disraeli stared him down and calmly replied, "That depends, sir, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress!"


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Father Daughter Chat

A young woman was about to finish her last year of college. Like so many others her age she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and was for distribution of all wealth. She felt deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Libertarian, which she expressed openly.

One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to higher taxes on the rich & the addition of more government welfare programs. Based on the lectures that she had participated in and the occasional chat with a professor she felt that for years her father had obviously harbored an evil, even selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father.

He stopped her and asked her point blank, how she was doing in school. She answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain. That she studied all the time, never had time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying. That she was taking a more difficult curriculum.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your good friend Mary doing?" She replied, "Mary is barely getting by." She continued, "She barely has a 2.0 GPA," adding, "and all she takes are easy classes and she never studies. But Mary is so very popular on campus, college for her is a blast, she goes to all the parties all the time and very often doesn't even show up for classes because she is too hung over."

Her father then asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your 4.0 GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0." He continued, "That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter visibly shocked by her father's suggestion angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I worked really hard for mine, I did without and Mary has done little or nothing, she played while I worked real hard!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said, "Welcome to the Libertarian Party!"


At 11/05/2005 10:55 PM, Blogger Dan Hill said...

Wallets aren't just for money, you can always hurt someone in the wallet. Reap what you sow.


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Friday, November 04, 2005

Real Beauty

I first saw Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty in one of Lo's magazines a few months ago. It just strikes me as odd as what passes for beautiful today.

These women from the campaign are all very beautiful and gorgeous (and look lovely in their undies!).

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But, this is what gets the majority of the modeling jobs.

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"Yes, but she's a coke whore!", you might say. I agree. But I just heard last night that after a quick tour of rehab, Kate Moss is picking up modeling jobs again. They called it a whirlwind comeback.

Why are they so desperate for druggie looking chicks? The women in the above photo and on Dove's site, if you care to visit, are all beautiful, real women. Women the same size as most of the women I know.

Ass-headed, drug-fiend designers would do better to focus on that market. Besides, I would rather look at a closeup of any of the women from the Dove photo in a perfume ad than Kate Moss' "waif face" ever again.

Who cares what I think, though? I just buy stuff. Does anyone out there who buys stuff agree with me?


At 11/04/2005 7:45 AM, Anonymous Yakyakbak said...

I agree, I like "real" women, not lollypops.

At 11/04/2005 8:13 AM, Blogger Chas Ravndal said...

real women are hotter and I am a gay guy!

At 11/04/2005 8:49 AM, Anonymous Aidana said...

That second comment was the best!

At 11/04/2005 9:41 AM, Blogger Guru said...

That was good. I would think that all people, straight or gay, man or woman, should be able to appreciate the beauty of a woman.

At 11/04/2005 11:47 AM, Blogger Elizel said...

*drops in through BlogExplosion*

Hi! :) I don't get the whole stick-thin craze either. It's so unhealthy. Where I'm from (Philippines btw), waif-thin isn't seen as sexy at all.

At 11/04/2005 11:58 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Yes all of the ladies from the Dove Campaign are "very beautiful and gorgeous",but none of them are really that big (and it still has me wishing that I looked like the women in all the ads). I guess once you get a certain size, you are no longer attractive.

At 11/04/2005 12:28 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Did you go look at their site? When I clicked through, there were girls that were bigger than in the picture that I put up. There is no such thing as not being beautiful after a certain size. If a girl has a pretty face and pretty features, they are going to be pretty at just about any weight, IMHO.

At 11/04/2005 12:57 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Why not have a plus sized (as in size 18+) women as well in their campaign? I have seen the magizine ads and the commericials, but I have to go their website to see the fat ones (and I can say fat since I am fat myself)?

At 11/04/2005 1:02 PM, Blogger Guru said...

[quote]and I can say fat since I am fat myself[/quote]

Come on. That isn't fair. It is like my old co-worker Chad who said he could make racist jokes and 'retard' jokes because his wife was black and his brother was retarted.

It doesn't make it right.

Call the women (and myself) nutritionally challenged.

I want to make this a 'safe place'.

As an aside, I don't know why the bigger women are only on the site. My main point was only that I prefer women of size to the cracked out looks of the new Nicole Ritchie look, the recent (but thankfully reversing) Lindsay Lohan, and of course Ms Moss.

At 11/04/2005 11:26 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Ummm, it is too fair mister! Chad was neither retarted or black, so he can't make fun. I on the other hand am I have every right to call it (and myself) as it is-fat.

Nutritionally challenged, ahhhhh...classic.

At 11/05/2005 7:43 AM, Blogger Guru said...

I grant that Chad was neither, so perhaps that was a great fallacy in his argument.

And I also agree that you can call yourself anything that you like, but it still isn't nice to name call anyone else, whether or not they share the same physical characteristics as you do. It's not nice. Thumper's dad would not approve :-P

At 11/05/2005 10:24 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said... this better: I have to go their website to see the obese, corpulent, fleshy, portly, stout, pudgy, rotund, plump, chubby ones.

At 11/05/2005 12:01 PM, Blogger Guru said...

You need to go to their website to see the "nutritionally challenged" ones.

Anything else could hurt their feelings. I'm sure that they are a huge part of the readership of my blog and could easily have their feelings hurt by insensitive politically incorrect comments..


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Thursday, November 03, 2005

Oh, No

I just found out today that Ben Roethlisberger is going to be out at least one game, maybe two after having a small surgical procedure on his knee today. Ben wanted to play through the injury, but the team wanted to get it taken care of before it got out of hand.

I really appreciate that he is always wanting to play no matter what. In a town like Pittsburgh, that attitude will make him very popular (not that a league leading 112+ passer rating hurts). Check out what one of his own teammates said about him.

"He's not one of those guys that whines: 'I'm hurt. I can't do this. I want a steak. Don't nobody touch me. Leave me alone. Put me in a bubble,"' right guard Kendall Simmons said. "There are guys who want to be in a bubble. They're like glass. You can't touch them. They don't have no dog in them. And he does. He's definitely got plenty of dog in him, and that's what I like
about him."

That's hardcore. I love it.

Now for the bad news. That means we have to go with our backup on Sunday. It won't be Tommy Maddox, who threw 4 INTs against Jacksonville including the one in OT that was returned for a TD and cost us the game.

No, our starter will be Charlie Batch, former Lions starter who hasn't started a regular season game since 2001. But, he doesn't have to do much. Big Ben has had games where he only has to attempt 10 passes because our running game is so strong.

Here's to hoping that he doesn't throw half of those to the other team!


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A Joke From My Father in Law

Sorry for the casing of the joke. I got it from my FIL in an e-mail in all uppercase and that was just annoying to read, so I used CSS to make the whole paragraph lowercase. I found it easier to read.

(PS About the joke ... no offense, Lo)











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Wednesday, November 02, 2005


Man, last night's episode of House was awesome! It may have been helped along by the fact that I was suffering through House withdrawal, since I hadn't seen a new episode in a month :-)

Last night was full of great moments with the dude from Office Space (Ron Livingston) playing a self-righteous doctor whose cause is curing TB in Africa. He turns up at House's hospital sick and diagnosing himself with TB. House isn't convinced that that is the problem and egos were CLASHING.

I'm not sure why, but I had no sympathy for Dr. Sebastian (Livingston) and his plight. I guess I knew that House would ultimately be right and anything that Dr. Sebastian was doing was impeding House's progress.

Did anyone else watch the episode? How did you feel about the characters and their interaction during the show? But, no matter what, wasn't it nice to have a new House on?


At 11/02/2005 10:44 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

I didn't watch it since Amazing Race is on.

At 11/03/2005 5:08 PM, Blogger Guru said...

How could you possibly choose Amazing Race over House?

That is like choosing torture over great pizza...

At 11/04/2005 11:43 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Amazing Race family edition is fantastic! The contestants are all over the world while I can sit back on my couch and watch! Plus, unlike you, I like watching shows that are entertaining...heehee!


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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Emotional Quotient

I don't think I have done this one before..

Your EQ is

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?


At 11/01/2005 9:41 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Mine is same-e-same!


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Close Call

Well, the Steelers improved their record to 11-0 for Monday Night Football home games, but not without some considerable challenge, winning 20-19.

They were supposed to beat the Ravens by two touchdowns or better, but anyone who is a fan of our division know that these two teams play each other tough regardless of circumstances.

Heath Miller caught both of the Steelers' touchdowns.
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Jeff Reed kicked the game winner with 1:36 left to lift us to victory.
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It was a very late game and I was awake for most of it, though I freely admit that I fell asleep a few times during the game. It wasn't that the game wasn't exciting, but it was just very late (made even later by the fact that my body still thinks that it is an hour later).

Oh, well. These sufferings are nothing compared to the good that I am doing the team by watching and willing them to win :-)


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Back on Track

After a two week slide in Fantasy Football, I knocked off the top team yesterday to move into a four way tie for first with 6 wins and 2 losses.

The Results:
Guru's Week 8 Fantasy Results

After learning my lesson last week, I played all of my Steelers and came up very big with Heath Miller (the first round pick at Tight End) and the Steeler Defense.

I love when being a fan pays off!


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Name: Pete
Home: Columbus, Ohio, United States
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