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Memoirs of a Lunatic

The title almost says it all. I'm a little insane, like all folks, and I'm just putting down what I think about. Maybe some of it is funny, maybe some of it isn't. Just come read and find out for yourself.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

First In

I am the first person here in the office today. That means that I got a prime parking spot near the building. Technically, it is the boss' spot, but he put all of the reserved spots that we own up for grabs to the first people who arrive.

Since I was the first guy in at 8:27am, and I like to stick it to the man, I made sure to park in the spot that was previously reserved only for the CEO. He is often still among the first to arrive, so he still gets a reserved spot of some sort, but sometimes he has to take the walk.

I think it is pretty cool that he has found inventive ways like that to get people to want to get in early. I went from getting here right at 9am to getting here between 8:30am and 8:40am. I also get the side bonus of looking like employee of the month! Not a bad deal, methinks.


At 8/31/2006 10:17 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Reminds me of the "sticking it to the man" cell phone commercial!

At 8/31/2006 9:54 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Oh yeah, well at least I get to wear a shirt and a tie, every day! So there...

At 9/01/2006 4:18 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Trin: I love that commercial. At least in this case, I myself am not the man.

Alex: Ouch. You got me there.

At 9/01/2006 8:20 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

I admit that parking spots help get me up earlier, too.

And somehow admitting that fact makes me feel like even more of a dork.


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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Crazy, But Fun

Work has been crazy busy, keeping my nose to the grindstone, <insert other cliche' here>. The cool thing is that the environment is still fun to be in. We are given room to still goof around and play jokes on each other and act rowdy at times.

Not too much longer and our project deadline will be here. Hopefully, we'll make it on time!

I'm glad that I took the fall off of school. I don't know if I'd be sane if I was still carrying a full-time course load!


At 9/01/2006 8:29 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

You know, I'm having a hard time coming up with work cliches. I mean...

Whistle while you work?
Busy little beaver?
Busy as a bee?
An early bird gets the worm?

Okay, now I'm getting off-subject.


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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

My Future?

A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?"

"Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string."

Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "this time I learned the first five notes on the A string."

One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks, "hey, what happened in today's lesson?"

"Dad, I'm sorry but I couldn't make it to my lesson. I had a gig!"


At 8/30/2006 9:33 AM, Blogger loelsh said...

Funny. But, I thought for sure it was headed for a "G string" punchline.

At 8/30/2006 1:26 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Ah, the G string. How fitting that it is the smallest string on the bass, as well :-)

At 8/30/2006 9:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd hit it!!!!!!

At 9/01/2006 4:20 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Anon: Uh, hit what? A G String? The undergarment or the high string of the bass. I'm so confused...


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Monday, August 28, 2006

Night Out

Friday night, as I was leaving work, I hopped in the back of one of my co-workers' pickup trucks so he could drive me to my car (parked kind of far away). As we got near my car, I thought that he was stopping, so I stood up. He ended up hitting the gas again and I almost fell out of the back of the truck. Then it happened again like two seconds later.

BeerfestWell, after I arrived safely in my car and headed home, I got a phone call. It was the co-worker who told me A) The first time I almost fell was an accident, the second time was on purpose. And B) They were going to see Beerfest this weekend and wanted to know if I wanted to go.

We hooked up last night and saw the movie at this place in on the west side that had student tickets for $3.50. The movie was, of course, not high humor, but it was pretty funny. Lo got to come with me and meet many of my co-workers and finally put names to the faces.

After the movie we went to Applebee's and got food and half-priced appetizers. We had a great time telling stories and we laughed for a long time. We closed it down and had to head home, but it is definitely something that I want to try to do again.


At 8/28/2006 10:31 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

Eric is DYING to see that one though it remains to be seen if we'll unlazy ourselves out of the house and into the theater. Yeah, we are pitiful.

At 8/29/2006 10:16 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Wow. I could understand if he was semi-interested in going to see it, but he is DYING to see it and you still don't know if you can get out of the house?

I can't knock you too much, though. I love to be at home, too.

At 8/29/2006 11:55 PM, Blogger Kristi said...

I miss going out for half price apps at Applebee's. My hubby wants to see that movie too. He was obsessed with Super Troopers when it came out. The random MEWS he throws into conversation occassionally do crack me up though.

At 8/30/2006 1:27 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Kristi: What is keeping you from going out for 1/2 price appetizers? Aveline? You should try to get a sitter and get out there and eat that cheap, fatty food. It is good for ya!


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Sunday, August 27, 2006

Funny Math

From here. I thought these were funny. I posted one of the examples that is on that site a previous time, but I didn't get it from there. I thought these two were pretty funny.

Blonde Math

Blonde Math


At 8/27/2006 8:00 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

BlogMad hit! :)

At 8/28/2006 9:49 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Makes sense to me...but I do have prego brain right now! :-)

At 8/28/2006 10:33 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

Hey, I'd feel VERY smart to have devised that second response and I'm nowhere near blonde!

At 8/29/2006 10:18 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Nicole: Yay! Those credits are good for something.

Trin: Ah, preggo brain. I'm sure it will bounce back!

Nicole: I actually thought that the 2nd one was pretty clever, too.

At 8/30/2006 12:11 AM, Blogger ghraper said...

Sure the answers are right, but ya gotta show your work people!!


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Saturday, August 26, 2006

Fantasy Draft

I know this post won't blow Lo's skirt up, but I finally had my fantasy draft today. I wanted to join a league with a live online draft, but finding an hour that I knew would be uninterrupted was pretty difficult. I ended up scheduling to do 1pm today and got to work. It didn't go exactly how I wanted it to, but I got some very good players.

My starters for week one are (as of now):
QB - Trent Green
WR - Larry Fitzgerald
WR - Plaxico Burress
RB - LaDanian Tomlinson
RB - Brian Westbrook
TE - Alge Crumpler
Wide Receiver or Running Back - Deuce McAllister
K - Mike Vanderjagt
DEF - Pittsburgh

My backups include Kurt Warner, Antwan Randle El, Eddie Kennison, LJ Smith, Duce Staley, Jacksonville, and Mike Nugent (Buckeye Pride! He let me down last year on fantasy football, but I only need him for the one week that Vanderjoke is off).

I'm very pleased with what I got, but I was one pick away from grabbing Shaun Alexander and Eli Manning. Each time I was ready to grab one of them, the guy right before me took them. Not to worry, though. I have some very capable fantasy players holding those spots down.

Wish me luck as I plunder my division!


At 8/26/2006 11:17 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

Take luck! (And, no, my skirt stayed down.)

At 8/27/2006 4:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 8/29/2006 10:22 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Lo: Thanks.

Anon: Exactly.


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Friday, August 25, 2006

Pluto No Longer a Planet

As some of you may have heard, last week we almost got 12 planets, now this week it was decided that we only have 8. Pluto got dropped.

This isn't the first time that a planet got "unmade". Ceres was discovered in the 1800s and named a planet, but was later discovered to be just an asteroid. So, the precedence is there, but what are we to do with My Very Enthusiastic Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas? (Or something close. I know about 6 versions off the top of my head.)

The writer in the link I found this morning mentions someone as having said just say My Very Enthusiastic Mother Just Served Us Noodles. I say that that hurts too much. Too soon. Too close to the original.

I submit:
My Very Exotic Mother Just Swam Underwater Naked.

What have you got?


At 8/25/2006 8:07 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

I don't think mine is too close to the original: Many Voluptous Energetic Minions Joked Stupidly Until Nauseated.

At 8/26/2006 1:47 PM, Blogger The Great and Powerful Oz said...

I THINK I speak for everyone...when I say...."We will miss you, Pluto!!!"

At 8/28/2006 10:40 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

That was a good one! I'm not thinking I can beat it.

Marauding Vaudevillians Encounter Melodious Joke-Stealing Nihilists.

At 8/29/2006 10:25 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Trin: Did someone say voluptuous?

Oz: Will you really miss it? I bet you think of it on average less than once a month. It was the red-headed step-child of planets, and now we've gone and kicked it to the curb.

Nicole: I'll bet that no one has ever said those eight words together in that order ever before. Kudos to you.


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Thursday, August 24, 2006

The Black Card

American Express 'Black Card'
Not the boss' actual card :-) - Image from Google

Wow. Check this out. My boss just got an American Express Black Card. The card comes in this really fancy case and is actually made out of metal. According to Wikipedia, there are fewer than 10,000 of these cards issued so for me to actually get to see and hold one was a pretty big deal. I mean, this is rare. Now, how can I get to be a baller like this one day?


At 8/24/2006 8:36 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

Dude, seriously, you've NEVER heard of a Black card??? Everybody on my BLOCK has one!

Okay, you know I'm kidding. If I had a card then I definitely wouldn't be pissed off over work right now.

At 8/24/2006 9:07 PM, Blogger Guru said...

I didn't say I had never heard of one. I said that I had never seen one. I've definitely heard of them. In fact, I've even seen the infamous scans of Lindsey Lohan's card and license.

At 8/27/2006 11:23 PM, Blogger Kristi said...

Sometimes people pay with those where I work. We usually all gather and gawk at it when it happens.

At 8/29/2006 10:26 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Kristi: As well you should. As my boss walks by now, we just fall prostrate to the floor in honor of the card :-)


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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Music Theory Made Easy

Music Theory Made Easy by Paul Baloche I recently borrowed Music Theory Made Easy by Paul Baloche from our worship leader. Actually, I was the first person to get to watch it. She had bought the DVD some time ago, but when she handed it to me, it still had the original outer wrapping on it.

So, I popped it in and was in for a great surprise. If I thought that I had learned a lot before from other sources, I was not ready for what was given to me in this 90 minute video. I had already known the note intervals on a major scale and how a major chord was constructed and that was the end of my memorization.

Now, after seeing the video, I know (or can quickly figure out) which chords are in a scale and how to make major, minor, diminished, dominant, augmented, and suspended chords (sometimes improperly called sustained chords) in any scale.

I also got a primer on chord progression and how to know how to string chords together to evoke certain feelings or create pleasing melodies. I know about inversions and how the 5/7 inversion is often used in many styles of music to replace the 7th, because the 7th chord in the major scale is diminished and it sounds too "jazzy".

I watched the DVD again on Monday night with Alex and picked up even more stuff from the video. In fact, afterward he and I spent quite a bit of time deconstructing songs to determine their pattern and quizzing each other on chords and whatnot.

It was like learning to read or finally understanding algebra. This doesn't apply directly to my bass playing as much as it would to a guitarist or piano player, but it does help me with what I can play and when and will help me be a better instrumentalist and able to create an instrumental jam on the fly with only a few numbers from the band leader.

I, for one, am pumped about this stuff.


At 8/23/2006 11:04 PM, Blogger ghraper said...

Ain't wikipedia great?! I think I even called them "sustained" chords when we were chatting earlier too!

I applaud your endeavor to be the best instrumentalist you can be, as well as add to your head knowledge of the wonderful world of music! If only everyone envolved in music ministries were so driven to improve.

At 8/24/2006 6:16 PM, Blogger The Great and Powerful Oz said...

"Hey....I heard that!!!!"

At 8/24/2006 8:38 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

You know, I've obviously heard of Musical Theory but never gave much thought as to what the "theory" was. And I claim to love music.

At 8/29/2006 10:29 AM, Blogger Guru said...

G: I know. I always forget which one is the right one and which is the wrong way to say it. I had to look it up for this post, hence the statement as stolen, err..... posted.

Oz: I'm sure that he didn't mean that against you....

Nicole: It does change your appreciation for music and what you listen for.


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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Franklin Countaaaay

Come on, don't hate. Watch it through, let me know what you think.


At 8/22/2006 6:16 PM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Hey, is that a trinity tat on his shoulder???

Btw, great was nice seeing the old 5th Ave stompin grounds.

At 8/23/2006 12:16 AM, Blogger ghraper said...

3:50 into that video is BIG WOODY A bus owned by a former coworker of mine. We went to a party last year, and that bus was there! Small world huh?!

At 8/23/2006 9:08 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Trinity: Gotta rep the hood!

G: How cool is that? I'll bet Big Woody is a tailgate landmark!


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Monday, August 21, 2006

Reese Marshmallow

Reese Cup
Mallow Cup
Reese Cup with Marshmallow

I saw this new product in the store today and I had to try it. I likes the Reese Cups and I figured that it would taste like a cross between a Reese and a Mallow Cup (which I also love!). It did.

The packaging says that it is for a limited time, but I hope that this gets enough support to stick around for awhile. It is another nice change of pace to the Reese lineup.

Anyone else had one? What'd you think?


At 8/21/2006 11:57 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

Sorry dude but I don't think I can hang with this one. Stuffing anything with marshmallow is a surefire way to keep me from eating it.

And unfortunately Eric (the human garbage disposal) can't try it either since he's allergic to all peanut prodcuts. He'll be so bummed!

At 8/22/2006 6:06 PM, Blogger Reluctant Kerry said...

Sometime two fantastic flavors are less appealing combined than alone. Certainly chocolate in your peanut butter and peanut butter on you chocolate is yummy-tasty-goodness. However ice cream in your gravy and gravy on your ice cream would be an insult to both of these superstars of the culinary world.

Could this be the case with the mallo/reese lovechild? Or do they actually enhance one another?

And why aren't mallo cups more widely available, damnit?!

At 8/23/2006 9:10 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Nicole: You don't like marshmallow? I would have taken you for a gal who liked white globs of sticky stuff.... :-P

Kerry: I actually work with a guy who swears ice cream and gravy is goodness. I feel you about the mallow cups. When I was a kid, we used to eat them and save the points inside. I liked to save those cardboard points just to smell them later!


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Sunday, August 20, 2006


This stupid quote keeps appearing on my Google dashboard:

I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'ma giraffe.
- Richard Gere

Errr, ummmm, ahhh. Has Mr. Gere been hitting the bong too much recently? He stated his point in the first sentence of the quote. However, he then went on to completely blur the point.

Does anyone view this quote as particularly deep? If so, what am I missing?


At 8/21/2006 2:05 AM, Blogger Witness Street said...

I laughed aloud at this. :)

At 8/21/2006 6:40 PM, Blogger Gooey said...

I believe he's saying that he doesn't let others tell him who he is.

Don't give in to peer pressure kids.

At 8/21/2006 11:58 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

I admit that I read one of those last sentences wrong and swore you said, "Has Mr. Gere been hitting the BONE too much lately."

I didn't want to have to ask you to expound on that one. ;)

At 8/22/2006 7:45 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

"If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk - you can get work!"
-Mr. T


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Saturday, August 19, 2006

That's So Raven

First of all, thanks to G and Trin for watching our son so we could take the girls out tonight.

I got discount tickets to go to a Raven concert at Columbus Crew Stadium. For the tickets, we also got to see the game. Here are some pictures of Raven performing (she is in the yellow shirt - a Crew jersey).

Raven in Concert

Raven in Concert

After that, we watched some of the game before leaving. Our view from our seats

Our View of the Crew Game

And finally, each of our girls clowning in our seats
Our Oldest at the Game

Our Younger Daughter at the Game

I've been to Crew Stadium for one other game and I had forgotten how nice the seating is. Unlike Ohio Stadium (home of the Buckeyes!), the bleachers have backs and the space alloted for each individual allows for comfortable seating.

All in all, it was a good night. My oldest was upset that there was no Raven autograph session so she guilted us into stopping for dinner at her favorite restaurant, but other than that, it was a pretty perfect evening.


At 8/21/2006 9:10 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

We had a great time watching him...and it made us think ahead about when our next little one will be old enough to play with our oldest.

I remember going to a crew game and liking the seats as well. Sounds like a great time!

At 8/21/2006 9:31 AM, Blogger loelsh said...

Look at their crazy wind-blown hair! It was very windy in the stadium.

It was fun though and OG is always yummy!

At 8/21/2006 11:56 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

My niece used to love Raven, too. She's definitely gained a wee bit o'weight since I last saw her but I'd rather see a sturdy girl than an emaciated one.


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Friday, August 18, 2006

Lessons in Music

As part of my goal of making myself the best bassist that I can, I have been studying a lot of material on the bass and music in general. I just got a bass DVD from the library yesterday and I learned something that I did not know.

First a little background refresher. G sharp (G#) is equivalent to A flat (Ab). I know that mathematically there is some distinction to them, but practically and on most instruments, they are the same.

I generally think in sharps. I think of the frets on my bass as A, A#, B, C, C#, D, D#, E, F, F#, G, G#. I used to wonder why flats even existed, why don't we just do sharp notation?

Well, last night, watching the DVD, I learned a reason for the flat's existence. Take the D scales. D major is D, E, F#, G, A, B, C#, D. D minor is D, E, F, G, A, Bb, C, D. Why can't D minor go A, A#, C, D at the end, it plays the same? According to the guy on the DVD, each letter of the musical alphabet must be represented in the scale. Since that note, A#/Bb, comes at a spot that we need a B, the accidental used is the flat, Bb.

All other scale stuff would ultimately fall apart or at the very least, lose all of the sense that it makes if this was not the case. Cool, huh? I've never received an instrumental music lesson, so this is all news to me.

Thought I'd share a bit of my excitement at finally understanding something!


At 8/20/2006 8:25 PM, Blogger Alex said...

I think that is way cool that you are really making an effort to hone your skills to become a better player. A lot of people don't bother with music theory, but if you are going to be a musician, I don't see how you can get around learning all about the theory. I used to think that learning from anything but the heart isn't really you. But I've since changed that foolish thinking because it can only open up so many doors. Great job!

At 8/22/2006 11:54 PM, Blogger ghraper said...

What instruments if any have you read about where G# = Ab does not apply? I'd love to play one.

I remember my grandma teaching me about determining the key a song is in by counting the sharps or flats at the beginning of the staff.

Here's a little guide to that which may come in handy.

Number of Sharps - Key
1 # Key of G
2 # Key of D
3 # Key of A
4 # Key of E

Number of Flats - Key
1 b Key of F
2 b Key of Bb
3 b Key of Eb
4 b Key of Ab

There are 3 keys that use 5 #'s or 5 b's. These keys are B, F#/Gb, and C#/Db. Those can be a little bit trick.

No sharps or flats? Key of C.

Another topic worth looking into is intervals(distance between the notes). Especially playing the bass. Once you know the song structure you can transpose a song to any key you want.

Way to go on the research. I'm really not surprised. Music is one of my favorite things to learn about too.

At 8/23/2006 9:05 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Alex: Thanks. It has been fun exploring all of these things.

G: The # / b thing... there was an argument on the Internet once about how mathematically or some scientific way that the two notes, G# and Ab for instance, are actually not the same note. I thought that they had given some instrument as proof of that. If I can uncover that again, I will pass it along to ya. I know about the sharp/flat counting guide being the way to determine the key. I also know the intervals on the major scale (Whole, Whole, Half, Whole, Whole, Whole, Half). I actually recently saw a DVD that I will be blogging about (maybe today) that was all about music theory and I learned a LOT.


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Thursday, August 17, 2006



Okay, recently Netflix brought me the movie Firewall, with Harrison Ford. I was kind of interested in seeing it because it was about security and crap and I usually like movies like that. I thought it would have some similar elements to Swordfish, but it really didn't.

It was more about how tough Harrison Ford was. It was kind of like Air Force One, but on the ground. Despite not meeting my expectations, it wasn't bad, but I'm glad that I didn't go out and rent it and waste $4.00 on it.

Speaking of cost per movie (kind of), I am turning over about 15 DVDs a month with my Netflix subscription. That makes it like a $1.00 a movie to see all of these. Once I catch up, I may lighten up my plan, but for now, it is full steam ahead!


At 8/17/2006 5:33 PM, Blogger Gooey said...

My parents rented it from Blockbuster (cleanses mouth with alcohol and fire), and I didn't really care for it. I was hoping for more of a tech-thriller like Hackers, but was hoping it would be better than Hackers because of the big-name actors. I was wrong, though, and soon found myself bored.

My biggest gripe is the leader of the gang setting things up at one point so Ford's character wouldn't know if his family is still alive or not. That's the most retarded move he could have made. If Ford's character had any reason to suspect that his family was already dead, what reason would have have to help them? He pretty much already lost his job, so if he thought his family might be dead, what else did he have to lose?

Only highlight was Mary Lynn Rajskub (aka, Chloe from 24) was in there, and was awesome. I also think she's kinda hot.

At 8/17/2006 7:47 PM, Blogger nicole said...

Harrison Ford could play the same role for the rest of his natural life and we'd still go to see his movies. Because he's Harrison Ford!

At 8/17/2006 9:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My roommate and I watched it and we kept joking about how it was just like every other Harrison Ford movie.

I'm turning over about 12 movies a month from Netflix and I still have about 300 in my queue (mostly TV shows).

Chloe is awesome.

At 8/18/2006 10:32 AM, Blogger Princess21 said...

I liked it...but I like almost anything! Especailly with Indiana Jones in it! He's hot!

Oh....and why do bad things happen to houses made almost entirely out of windows??? Is there a connection...??....I think so!!


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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

How I Get My Visitors

Some of the interesting keywords used to locate my blog through search engines:

simmons family jewels talk soup
father-daughter dance
too much perfume rookie
laquisha wrecked casual friday for everyone
chuck norris turns the ribbed condoms inside out
men's answer to valentine's day
ginn smokey bones ohio
quarterback super bowl 24 youngest to win
restaurants with turkey burgers in columbus, ohio
i never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death
harry and the potter lyrics to save ginny weasley
how to pronounce syzygy
stent removal guru
are the kids from pete and pete in a wendy's commercial?
oil spill math problem cleaned up by deploying bacteria
va-jay-jay grey's anatomy
shogun assassin quotes

What is fun for me is to guess and see what keywords led to what post and then follow through and find out. Games are fun when you are the subject!


At 8/17/2006 9:20 AM, Blogger Gooey said...

If you're still using StatCounter, it should be able to tell you what post or archive section the searcher went to when they found your blog.

At 8/17/2006 9:31 AM, Blogger Guru said...

I know it can tell me, that is how I find out if I am right when I guess my post.

At 8/17/2006 10:30 AM, Blogger Witness Street said...

Really? I have never used Statcounter and have no idea it can do something like this? So cool. :)


At 8/17/2006 10:39 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Ha, I love the Chuck Norris one!

At 8/17/2006 7:44 PM, Blogger nicole said...

HAHAHA! You got it over "va-jay-jay"?? That's a good one!


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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

It's an Addiction

My Baseball Card Bounty

Okay, I have a problem. I used to collect baseball cards back in the day. I loved it. Well, a store near here has old packs of baseball cards, ready for purchase. Stuff from 1990-1992 for $.50 cents a pack and stuff from 1986-1989 (including sticker album cards) for $3.99 for just tons of them in a bag.

I went down and bought some today and had a lot of fun opening them. I realized though, that I have a problem. I'm glad that at the height of my collecting that I didn't have a job, or else I would have gone bankrupt, no doubt about it.

The picture above is from my camera phone and is the piles of actual cards that I got from the store for $6.00.


At 8/15/2006 8:20 PM, Blogger nicole said...

So tell me, what does it for you with the baseball cards? What makes you so addicted?

I admit that it's extra hard for me to understand since I'm not particularly into the sport. But I'm trying to comprehend. ;)

At 8/16/2006 10:35 AM, Blogger Gooey said...

I seem to be like that with video games lately. Two rare games (Ikaruga for GameCube, and Trauma Center: Under the Knife for DS) came in to PSG in the last few weeks, both for $30, and I just had to buy them.

Over the last one to 1.5 years, I've spent over $500 on video games, maybe more. Right now I have 26 games sitting on my desk, and that doesn't even include my old school games or GameBoy games . . . . By the end of the year, should everything go smoothly, I'll also be adding a new system and possibly another 5 to 10 games to my collection, maybe even a bigger TV. @_@

At least your addiction isn't as expensive! ^_^

At 8/16/2006 1:50 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Nicole: In this particular manifestation, the allure is the nostalgia. These cards are all from around the years that I collected most heavily as a kid (1987-1993). Also, I am much less obsessed with the price of these cards now and I can actually enjoy having the cards of players that I like.

Gooey: Yours definitely is an expensive habit. I couldn't afford to be a video game junkie.


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Monday, August 14, 2006

It is Funny What Amuses Me

Every day I am one of the first into the office. As 3 of my friends arrive, I always call their cell phones from mine in order to see if I can get their ringtones to get broadcast in the otherwise quiet office.

Everyone gets a good laugh when a phone goes off. Unfortunately, they have recently gotten a little better about setting them to vibrate while they are still in the hall. I'm going to have to get a little sneakier in my attacks in order to keep up the assaults.

Ahh, geek life. How much fun when you have an office full of us? Too much fun!


At 8/15/2006 2:44 PM, Blogger Gooey said...


At 8/15/2006 8:21 PM, Blogger nicole said...

These people hate you, don't they? ;)

Just kidding. Nobody can actually HATE the Guru.

At 8/16/2006 1:51 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Gooey: I don't want to be that obnoxious, I'd lose all my friends! :-)

Nicole: No, they don't hate me, it is all in good fun. This is one of the best office environments I've ever worked in.


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Sunday, August 13, 2006

Another Weekend Over

What a busy weekend this was. I played bass at a church event on Saturday and was there from 8am until about 2pm. I stayed so late because I may be getting myself into something big there. I'll have to wait and see how it plays out before I get into specifics.

Today I was at church again from 8:30am until about Noon:30 running sound. And, if I do say so myself, it sounded *incredible* today. I mean, I had something to do with it (the mix WAS good), but the band was in great form today and the songs were very good. When they did the last song during second service, I wish I had been on stage playing in the band. I've never been on stage getting the kind of energy and love that was going on in that room.

After church, we took one of my oldest's daughters friends home with us and had lunch. Then, Lo took the kids swimming while I watched a DVD about musical styles. A little while later, I went and got my son from the pool so everyone could be at the pool in peace!

We went to dinner at McDonalds so the four kids could play in the Play Place, then came home and watched a movie. It was all good.

I'll leave you with a picture of my son being a monkey:
My Son the Monkey
Good Sunday to Ya!


At 8/15/2006 11:58 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

So cute!!!

At 8/16/2006 1:51 PM, Blogger Guru said...

I thought so.


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Saturday, August 12, 2006

Family Jewels

Gene Simmons Family Jewels
Oh, my gosh. I watched two episodes of the new A&E Gene Simmons show called Gene Simmons Family Jewels and it was freaking awesome. The show was interesting and very very funny. I don't know what about it that I found so hilarious, but I probably laughed out loud a good 5 times during the half hour show.

It was so good that I set my DVR to record it whenever it is on. I have to not miss an episode! Has anyone else seen this? Doesn't it rule?!??


At 8/13/2006 12:26 PM, Blogger nicole said...

They showed a clip of it during The Soup and I have to say that I was shocked at how NON-dump it sounded. But there's so much crap loaded on my TiVo right now that I was afraid to add anything to it.

At 8/16/2006 1:52 PM, Blogger Guru said...

You need to work through that TiVo, or let some things go. This show needs to get on there!


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Friday, August 11, 2006


Well, the technical issue that I had last week ended in total success. We got the issue solved and I was able to write documentation that is reproducible company-wide.

To culminate all of that hard work, I had to give a presentation yesterday to our project team on how to set up and use the product. It went very well, which is to say that I didn't mis-speak and I had no technical glitches as I presented.

Nothing makes you look dumber than a problem arising during a presentation that you can't handle. Luckily, I worked it like a master and people think I'm some kind of expert now.

Well, perception is reality for some folks, so for the moment I have no problem with people perceiving that I'm some kind of expert genius on something. Who am I to correct them?


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Thursday, August 10, 2006

Thursday Thirteen

Guru's Thursday Thirteen
Thirteen of Guru's Favorite Quotes

This list is by no means exhaustive, just a sampling of some I like.

  1. By asking for the impossible we obtain the best possible.

  2. My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

  3. The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.

  4. The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.

  5. Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

  6. The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous.

  7. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

  8. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

  9. Don't compete with me: firstly, I have more experience, and secondly, I have chosen the weapons.

  10. Program testing can be used to show the presence of bugs, but never to show their absence!

  11. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

  12. Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.

  13. Don't just talk about it, be about it.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


At 8/10/2006 2:51 PM, Blogger Carmen said...

Ha! I like number 1. Ill have to put that on the fridge!

At 8/10/2006 3:28 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

I'm a huge fan of quotes. I enjoyed all of yours!

At 8/10/2006 3:53 PM, Blogger Kukka-Maria said...

Love the quotes! One of my favs:

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." Mark Twain.

Came by way of Thu 13. Loved your list!

At 8/10/2006 4:36 PM, Blogger Gypsy said...

I'm thinking #2 sounds about right.

At 8/10/2006 5:48 PM, Blogger Lynn said...

I like the first one and last one, and I love the second one;-) Great quotes. Thanks for sharing them and for stopping by.

At 8/10/2006 8:43 PM, Blogger Zeus said...

Terrific quotes! I hope I can show my sister, Isis, the one concerning insanity. Maybe that'll teach her.

I also like this quote from Roberto Clemente: It ain't bragging if you can do it.

Feel free to check out my own Thursday Thirteen! Happy Thursday to you!

At 8/10/2006 9:32 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

I have to say that I love #11. I wish it could have been like the 11th Commandment or something. ;)

At 8/11/2006 8:55 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Carmen: I think it is a great rule of thumb and I use it on all of my work projects.

Stephanie: Thanks and thanks for stopping by.

Kukka: Mark Twain is a quote machine!

Gypsy: It is exactly right!

Lynn: The last one is a special reminder to me.

Zeus: I totally dropped the ball. Roberto Clemente is my dad's favorite player and I am very familiar with that quote. I can't believe I didn't include it. Thanks for sharing it.

Nicole: I see if I can get it added as an ammendment or something.

At 8/11/2006 10:50 AM, Blogger Gooey said...

My favorites:

Yoda: Try not. Do, or do not, there is no try.

Burt Bacharach: A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Laurence J. Peter: If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

At 8/11/2006 11:35 AM, Blogger Witness Street said...

Those quotes are either hilarious or inspiring. I especially liked number 12, although I believe I am neither a genius nor very talented. Haha. Cheers!


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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Playing Ball


Sunday night, my younger daughter asked me if we could play catch Monday night. I had band practice, so I promised I'd play Tuesday night. I was looking forward to it all day yesterday. I wasn't sure if I'd have to remind them or not.

Well, I got home last night and the first thing she asked was if I would play. I said, "Of course" and we headed out after dinner.

We tossed around the softball for awhile and I let them pretend to pitch while I crouched down and caught. We did that for about 30 mins. I'll tell you what, my inner thighs were sore this morning. Doing deep knee bends for a half hour will wear into you, that's for sure.

Well, apparently the girls had fun, because when I got home tonight, they wanted to play again. We went outside before dinner and tossed around the softball and football. All three of my kids played, as well as a neighbor boy from down the way. He doesn't have a dad around, so it was pretty cool to toss the ball around with him and talk sports.

It is nice to have some relaxing evenings at home.


At 8/10/2006 9:43 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

AWWWW!!! That's so cute.

I swear some of your posts belong on a Hallmark card. And not in a mean way. ;)

At 8/11/2006 8:56 AM, Blogger Guru said...

How could that be in a mean way? Unless you are calling me hokey or something... However, you did say you meant it in a nice way, so I'll take it as a compliment!


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Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The Results Are In

You may remember that I had to write a research paper as my final assignment in my writing class. If I got a 36% on the paper, I would still get an "A" in the class. Well, forget that crap, I got the results back today.

Assignment 7-2-3 (Final Paper)
Grading Criteria

Content - relevance of topic is clear. Writer's thesis is clear, relevant, focused, and concrete. Content of the paper is logically developed. Main ideas are cohesive. Quantitative data is relevant and clearly illustrated (0 - 70 points):
The paper was clear in focus and content. Earned: 68/70

Grammar/Mechanics/Format - language is appropriate for topic, audience, and purpose. Paper adheres to conventions of standard grammar, mechanics, and punctuation. Paper adheres to APA format requirements. Documentation and citation conform to APA (0 - 70 points). The paper had the common errors that students frequently fail to correct. Earned: 68/70

Final Grade: 136/140 (97%)

That means that I ended up with a 98.6% in the class, meaning I only lost 14 points over all of my assignments for the term. That is pretty good considering that I hate writing (yet, I blog everyday... hmmmm).

Yay me!


At 8/08/2006 10:43 AM, Blogger Alex said...

You are the smartest person I have ever met. Good job!

At 8/08/2006 11:13 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Hi Alex, my name is Trinity.


At 8/08/2006 11:45 AM, Blogger loelsh said...

Was there ever any doubt that you'd get an A? Not in my mind! Great job!

At 8/08/2006 2:15 PM, Blogger Princess21 said...

Yay, Gu!!! Great job!!

At 8/08/2006 6:20 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Alex: Come on. You are talking crazy talk!

Trin: Ha, ha, very funny.

Lo: I doubted I'd get an A on the paper. The class was pretty much in the bag, but I figured that was about a C paper.

PJ: Thanks.

At 8/09/2006 8:36 AM, Anonymous dawn said...

Good Job!

At 8/09/2006 4:24 PM, Blogger Tara said...

That is a pretty damn good score! Yay you, exactly! (I just bought a book for my nephew called "Yay, You!")

Excellent work!

At 8/11/2006 8:52 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Dawn: Thanks.

Tara: I like the sound of that book. It seems to be about my favorite subject.


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Monday, August 07, 2006


Doogie Howser, M.D. - Season One

Man. I watched the first two disks of season one of Doogie Howser, M.D. this weekend and it was a crazy blast from the past. I was surprised at how much I remembered about the show and several of the episodes.

I was also surprised at how much that I didn't know or understand about what was going on in the hospital back when I was 12. I also didn't remember how much Doogie got in trouble with his boss.

I have the rest of Season One queued up on Netflix, but I'm going to get some other movies first. Don't want to waste up all my space with the same thing. Anyone have any fond Doogie memories? Did you watch at all?


At 8/07/2006 10:23 AM, Blogger Witness Street said...

Hmm. Why is it I find N.P. Harris more memorable in Harold and Kumar than in this show? But seriously, I miss Doogie and the show's theme song. Cheers! :)

At 8/07/2006 11:10 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Awww, Doogie looks so little!!!

I remember watching the show, but I don't remember what happened in any of the episodes.

At 8/08/2006 6:19 PM, Blogger Guru said...

Witness: Because nothing beats NPH saying he left "love stains" in the back seat!

Trin: I kept thinking he looked little, too. I can't believe that he was supposed to be 16.

At 8/08/2006 8:33 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

Yet another show that I know I watched but really can't remember much of. It's frightening when you realize how much information your brain has flushed out to make room for new stuff.

And I really need to join Netflix already!

At 8/11/2006 8:57 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Nicole: You MUST JOIN Netflix!


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Sunday, August 06, 2006

Some People Can't Help Themselves

Okay, Peep this. This was my week to be on the praise team. We were a bit understaffed due to some family emergencies, but I was still pumped. They were letting me play my bass at a volume that usually gets me yelled at, so I was happy. Our pastor had written a song that was initially performed last week. My man Alex threw down the killer bass line on it, so I had a lot to live up to when we did the song again this week.

Alex showed me how to play it (in a slightly dumbed-down style, since he is better than I am) and off we went. The music went very well in the first service. I made maybe one mistake. In second service, I believe that I made 3 mistakes during the songs. I'm not tone deaf, I know the second that I make a mistake.

Well, we went to lunch today with Lo's dad. I mentioned that I wondered if some of the old people were freaked out today because we had the bass booming and then during the offering, some of the youth girls did (gasp!) a dance. It was very good.

Anyway, I asked him if he could hear me today (hearing my instrument is usually a problem). His response? "I heard a few mistakes this morning, too." What a piece of crap. As I stated earlier, I knew I screwed some stuff up. I've played with the praise band for 8 Sundays. That's it. No way I'm going to be perfect.

I told Lo today that I could be very mean to that man. Taking shots at him is like shooting fish in a barrel, so I refrain. But, for some reason he feels like it is okay to take rude shots at me. Not friendly, "you got zinged" shots, I get those at work. I give those at work. I can recognize those. He actually seemingly tries to be as rude as possible. I don't hear him speak this way to anyone else but me.

I'm sorry, but with that kind of attitude, it is no wonder that he does not have a lot of friends. He is pretty much unable to be positive. He is never truly encouraging, and people usually just think he is odd. It is getting to the point recently (about the last 6-8 months) where I just cannot stand him.


At 8/07/2006 8:55 AM, Blogger Alex said...

I remember the first time I played bass at church, I hit quite a few bad notes, but over time I have gotten better. Not a funkadelic groovy bassist, but I am much better than I was two years ago. You are doing fine and will continue to do fine.

Unlike the opinions of some, you will get better. Nobody starts out in music any good at all, and many people tend to forget that. I will never ever think I am better than someone else when it comes to musical ability, because I know it's very discouraging when you get those "border bullies" in your life. Nobody needs that and it doesn't do any good for anyone. Most importantly, God doesn't honor that.

Keep up what you are doing, and things will go far. I'm not giving up on guitar and look where that got me yesterday! I've spent 15 consistent years playing drums, and I was craptastic when I started.

At 8/07/2006 9:21 AM, Blogger Guru said...

It isn't so much that I did play bad notes that bothered me. I mean, I hate to not be perfect at stuff, but what was really bugging me was just the rudeness put forward to me. I didn't ask him to critique my performance, nor was I bragging and in sore need of being taken down a notch. I only asked if he could hear the instrument from his seat and he takes the opportunity to point out that I screwed up - as the first thing out of his mouth. That sucks. I appreciate you and others that are willing to realize that I am just learning.


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Saturday, August 05, 2006

It's OVER!!!

The End

Ahhhhhh. You feel that? Know what that is? The feeling of a weight being lifted off of one's shoulders. My schoolwork is done for the term. And, since I am taking Fall term off, I am done with school until January.

In true procrastinating format, I put off doing my major final paper until today, the day it was due. Then, I kept getting interrupted (by myself and others) and so I didn't get finished with it until 10:45 tonight. It ended up being 8 pages (double spaced), and is really quite boring to read! To get an A in that class, I can actually score a 43% on the paper and still get that A. And, since 50% of the paper's grade is on grammar and style, I should be a lock for that A.

I wanted to get a really early jump on the paper today, but I actually got to sleep in instead. It wasn't planned, but since Trin and G kept our kids (mega thanks!), I just ended up sleeping until they called me to drop them off! Obviously, that was needed.

Usually, Sunday is my last minute homework day and I lose out on enjoying the day. Not tomorrow, because I'm free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


At 8/07/2006 7:45 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Anytime you and your honey want to sleep in, just let me was great having the kids over!

At 8/08/2006 6:21 PM, Blogger Guru said...

How do you feel about M - F? :-)

At 8/08/2006 8:34 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

Isn't that like the BEST feeling in the world??? It's even better than waking up early on the weekend only to realize you can go right back to sleep.

Oh the JOY!

Congrats, Mr. Guru. :)

At 8/11/2006 8:59 AM, Blogger Guru said...

Nicole: Thanks. It is a WONDERFUL feeling. I feel so relieved. Like getting to pee after having to hold it for hours.


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Friday, August 04, 2006

Leaving Early

As it stands right now, I am going to leave work early today (by one hour) to pick up my mom to bring her to my house for dinner. We haven't really seen her since Mother's Day (I think), even though she lives nearby. We work different schedules and she does not have a car.

I have already worked enough hours this week that I could have not worked today and still been okay on hours! However, I don't mind working and wouldn't have left early if I didn't have these plans.

I'm working through some issues now at work and I'm feeling pretty good that I'm not an idiot. We eventually decided to call Microsoft paid tech support and pay for their help, especially since that is less than I make in a day and if we can ultimately save my time, it is worth it. I like when employers make logical conclusions.

Anyway, paid tech support had no idea how to fix it, so the guy is actually now dedicated to us and working on fixing our issue, since the potential impact is so large. For those who are curious, I detail my problem here in an attempt to get some help.

Hopefully, that will come soon and I'll be able to start cruising along again!


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Thursday, August 03, 2006

Strange Dreams

I fell asleep last night on the couch with the TV on. I kept having these dreams. The first one was that someone gave me a home gym for a belated birthday present. Funny thing was that they kept describing it to me.

Then, I dreamt that my church was starting a church-wide diet and exercise thing. I heard a presentation, then people kept walking up to me and telling me how much that program had helped them.

When I woke up this morning, I noticed that infomercials were on the set. That explained everything. You may or may not know that dreams are when the brain has these random signals going on and then another part tries to make some kind of sense of them for you. That's why dreams are so weird sometimes.

That is also why I've been trying to shut off an alarm clock in my dream, only to have it never shut off (my real alarm was going off), or with the same external (to the dream) alarm clock, I've dreamt that a truck was backing up outside of whatever building I was currently in in my dream.

All that to say this - I had crazy dreams last night because the stupid TV was running infomercials about home gyms and diet plans. Aren't blogs great?


At 8/03/2006 9:39 AM, Blogger Gooey said...

You're insane.

At 8/03/2006 9:54 AM, Blogger Trinity13 said...

Well, that's what you get for falling asleep on the couch instead of being bed with your wife!

At 8/03/2006 11:53 AM, Blogger Princess21 said...

A fell asleep on the couch watching Big Brother the other night.

He said he dreamed that his boss came in and nominated 2 of his co workers. They had a power of veto competition and one of the guys was sent packing!

Dreams are silly!

At 8/03/2006 6:19 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

I love how our minds do that. I used to wake up to the sound of my radio alarm blasting the morning news. Which meant that no matter who I was dreaming about, they suddenly were able to tell me how what the average price for gas was or what the weather would be like on Tuesday.

At 8/04/2006 2:28 AM, Blogger Witness Street said...

Wow, those are weird dreams. It'd be really hard to interpret these, even if you wanted to...but then again, maybe it's really just the TV. :)


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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Another One of Those Days

I had a late night at work last month where I stayed until midnight. I wasn't there that late today, but I did work 11.75 hours.

We all have a lot of work to do in the next five weeks (and a bit beyond), but right now, it is my time. I've had to configure and deploy our product environment to .Net 2.0 and Sql Server 2005 and rewrite an important code module to make use of that environment's latest features.

I'm not going to bore you all here, but suffice to say that crap isn't easy. Yesterday, I spend hours working with one of the partners, who is very good with this kind of stuff, working on getting our environment installed on the test server. Today, I spent most of the day with employee #4 working on another piece. Our worst part has been that documentation for what we want to do is very bad, so we are having to guess alot.

Good new is that tomorrow and Friday can't possibly be late days. I've got praise team practice on Thursday and I have to pick up my mom for dinner on Friday. Those plans are immutable.... hopefully!


At 8/03/2006 6:17 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

I'm sorry you had such late days, homedog. But it's almost the weekend so we'll just focus on that.


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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Final Exam

Ummmm, so I've got a final exam today in my programming course. I need to go take it after work. I haven't studied for it (like I haven't studied for any other exam or homework or lab in this class) and I worry sometimes that that will bite me in the butt. We'll see.

What else is annoying is that I will go to the place, they will say, "You have 2.5 hours to take this test, but we are only open for another 2 hours. Sign this saying that it is okay if we stop you before you are done."

Look. The tests have been over 20 pages, one was over 30. However, they are not hard. I get done in about 45 minutes. After I take this final exam, I will be done with 2 of my 3 courses. The only one left is the one that requires a very long research paper. However, once that is done, I am done for the next few months. Oh, how I'm looking forward to it!


At 8/01/2006 4:12 PM, Blogger loelsh said...

You've got so much going on right now, it will be nice for you to have a little break!

At 8/01/2006 5:51 PM, Blogger Guru said...

I can't wait!

At 8/01/2006 10:48 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

They always have to make you climb the 20-page wall before you can finally taste freedom. Those MEANIES!

Congrats on being able to relax for a few months.


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